Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.
What do you call a country, where all the cars in it are pink?
A pink carnation.
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
Click here to view this edition online!
Easter Rock by Cybersaltine Marilyn H.Easter Sunday greetings everyone - the Lord is Risen!
Speaking of Good Friday, Grandma Cybersalt and I watched an online Good Friday service which was a cooperative effort by many local churches in our city.
To be honest, I wasn't very motivated to watch another service online and thought I'd just keep the day like I have been every other pandemic day (apparently, according to our son, all these similar days in the pandemic are being referred to as "Blursday.") But Susan wanted to watch a service and as I searched within myself I remembered that Jesus' death on the cross for my sins certainly demanded a heart response from me greater than plopping in front of the computer and doing more work.
Boy, was I ever glad we took part in that service by watching it because during it I learned something about the last supper that I never new before. It was like chocolate for my soul!
Here's a key truth about seeking God - we do it because He is gracious, He wants to do something in us and for us, and He just might! Don't get me wrong, I get it that when we don't feel like seeking God our minds have convinced themselves that there isn't anything likely to come out of whatever act or step of obedience it will take to drag our buts to do the right, decent, and reverent thing.
In such times, let's not lose sight of the fact that we are responsible to disciple ourselves in our walk with Jesus. We've fallen into a pretty sad state when we can't even turn on a video to feed our souls and take an easy opportunity to let God do something outside of our life's rut.
The great news is, even if we are in that, or a different, sad state God's grace has something for us!
Today's video share wonderfully reminds of that truth.
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"
"I know!" a little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!"
If at first you DO succeed, try to hide your astonishment!
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
“When the big earthquake happens and southern California separates from the mainland it will be San Andreas' fault.”
"The stone was rolled away from the door, not to permit Christ to come out, but to enable the disciples to see in."
- Peter Marshall
There is a stage in a child's life at which it cannot separate the religious from the merely festal character of Christmas or Easter.
I have been told of a very small and very devout boy who was heard murmuring to himself on Easter morning a poem of his own composition which began 'Chocolate eggs and Jesus risen.'
This seems to me, for his age, both admirable poetry and admirable piety. But of course the time will soon come when such a child can no longer effortlessly and spontaneously enjoy that unity. He will become able to distinguish the spiritual from the ritual and festal aspect of Easter; chocolate eggs will no longer seem sacramental.
And once he has distinguished he must put one or the other first. If he puts the spiritual first he can still taste something of Easter in the chocolate eggs; if he puts the eggs first they will soon be no more than any other sweetmeat. They will have taken on an independent, and therefore a soon withering, life.
- C. S. Lewis
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Fifty years ago, I was a teenager. Boy, do I miss those Days of Yore. It's not that I would like to relive them,
but I was a much different person back then. As a teenager, I knew everything, and all you had to do was ask me. Even if you didn't ask me,
I still would tell you what was on my mind. I wished I knew everything today because people are asking me questions I can’t even answer.
A teenager is someone between being a baby and being an adult. I sure don't want to be a baby, and I've had misgivings about becoming an adult. An adult has all kinds of responsibilities, of which none define the term "let's have fun."
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"
"I know!" a little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!"
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
