Entertainment

The only problem with buying a book on amnesia is that you are likely to forget where you put it!

One afternoon a waiter served a bowl of chicken soup to an elderly gentleman. As he turned away to return to the kitchen the customer stopped him, calling:......"Waiter!"

WAITER: "Yes, sir, is there something wrong?"

CUSTOMER: "The soup. Taste it."

WAITER: "I beg your pardon, Sir?"

CUSTOMER: "Taste it."

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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone and Happy Palm Sunday!

When I was pastoring local churches, many times I said, "If people listened to their doctor like they listened to their pastor, they'd be dead." Now, when I watch the nightly news, I see I was not wrong.

I find it quite remarkable that so many of the same people who would allow their doctor to cut them open while they sleep naked under a bright light are so quick so self-doctor themselves to avoid cramping their lifestyle.

I feel the same way about nurses. We trust them to change the bags of different liquids dripping into our veins, swap out the dressings on our infected wounds, and stick needles in us to inject/draw whatever needs to be injected or drawn. But when they tell the world the harsh reality about how hard their job is right now and ask for some help to keep patient numbers down, many ignore them altogether - even calling them heroes while they do it.

Today is Palm Sunday, a day when we recall the parade that broke out when Jesus entered into Jerusalem. Days later there were cries for a murderer to be released and Jesus to be crucified. I am quite sure the crowds at both events we very different - but I cannot help but leave room for the possibility that there was some overlap in the participants.

The world is full of contradictions that siren us away from the response of selflessness and self-sacrifice that the truth demands.

Speaking of doctors and nurses, this week's video share is of a patient resisting going under anaesthetic. I don't which is funnier - his efforts or the laughter of his friend who is filming him! I actually tried to fight off going under just before a surgery I had in my teens. At the last moment I lifted my head. The last thing I remember was the sound (not the feeling) of it banging down on the metal operating table.

Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

One afternoon a waiter served a bowl of chicken soup to an elderly gentleman. As he turned away to return to the kitchen the customer stopped him, calling:......"Waiter!"

WAITER: "Yes, sir, is there something wrong?"

CUSTOMER: "The soup. Taste it."

WAITER: "I beg your pardon, Sir?"

CUSTOMER: "Taste it."

WAITER: "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."

CUSTOMER: "Taste it."

WAITER: "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients."

CUSTOMER: "Taste it!"

WAITER: exasperated, "All right, Sir, I'll taste it."

Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"

To which the customer replied triumphantly, "Ah ha!!"

You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers.

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Refugees and

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“Food for bad dogs is bought by the pound.”

"Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!"
And some said to him, "Teacher, rebuke your disciples."
He answered, "I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out."

- Jesus (Luke 19:38-40)

"A little lamb was born all wooly-white with skinny legs and a wet nose, pretty much like all the other little lambs. But as the lamb grew into a sheep, the other sheep began to notice a difference. This sheep had a strange lump on his forehead.

At first, they thought he'd been hit, but the lump never went down. Instead, a large pad of deep, white wool grew over the lump and made it very soft and firm. The lump might have stopped attracting attention except for the fact that this sheep began to use the lump on his head in very strange ways.

For one thing, the lump seemed to weigh down his head so that he always looked like he was bowing and showing reverence t some invisible king. Then he began to seek out other sheep that were sick or wounded. He would use the firm, soft lump on his forehead to help the weak onto their feet and to wipe away tears.

Whole flocks of sheep started to follow him around, but the goats laughed him to scorn. Sheep were disgusting enough, but a sheep with a queer lump on his forehead was more than they could take. They harassed him all the time and made up jokes and taunts: "How come you hang your wooly head? Your lump made out of woolen lead?" And it just infuriated them that he would walk away from them and keep on doing his quiet works of mercy.

So one day the goats surrounded him and rammed him with their horns until he died, and they left him alone in the field. But as he lay there, something very strange happened. He began to get bigger. The bloody wool fell away and revealed a sleek, white, horse-like hair. The soft pad of deep white wool dropped off his forehead and straight out of the merciful lump grew a mighty horn of crimson steel unlike any horn that has ever been or will be again.

And then, as if by command, the massive Unicorn leaped to his feet. His back stood eight feet above the ground. The muscles in his shoulders and neck were like marble. The tendons in his legs were like cables of iron. His head was no longer bowed, and when he looked to the right or to the left, the crimson horn slashed the air like a saber dipped in blood.

When the sheep saw him, they fell down and worshiped. He bowed and touched each one on the forehead with the tip of his horn, whispered something in their ear, and soared away into the sky. He hasn't been seen since."

That's the vision in my mind as I enter Holy Week. It's a portrait of Jesus Christ painted by Isaiah under the inspiration of God and put on display by Matthew 12:18-21. Like every good work of art, this portrait has a purpose, and the purpose is to cause us to set our hope on Jesus Christ. And I am praying that this will happen in your life, because I know that everything else you set your hope on will let you down in the end. But if you hope in Jesus Christ, he will be honored in your life, and you will never regret it.

- John Piper

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

“Food for bad dogs is bought by the pound.”