"I don't exercise; if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."
- Joan Rivers
I had to go on a business trip the day after my honeymoon, so I decided to purchase a gift for my new wife.
At an airport gift shop, I found a coffee mug imprinted with the words, "I love you" inside a beautiful red heart. Confident the mug would please my wife, I asked to have it wrapped.
She beamed when I gave it to her at dinner that night, but her face fell when she saw the writing on the back of the mug.
It read, "Grandpa."
Have you heard the latest amoeba pick up line?
Well, those little cells just sidle right up to another and they say,
"Hey, baby, after they made you they threw away the mold."
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Grandma Cybersalt is still away and I'm still alive!
Thanks to everyone who let me know that you could not watch Sunday's video share, "The World's Smallest Movie" - not because it is so small but because I didn't include the link.
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
My four-year-old handed me a drawing
"What's this? I asked.
"It's us," he replied
I looked at it and I noticed an extra figure.
"Who's that?" I asked.
"That's the old woman who visits me," he said.
A chill ran down my spine.
Then I remembered my mum was staying for a visit and it's probably her.
There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.
- Spencer Tracy
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
A man visiting a doctor says; Doctor I just dropped in to tell you how much I benefited from your treatment.
The doctor replied, "But you are not one of my patients."
The man said, "I know. But my uncle Bill was, and I am his heir."
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
- John F. Kennedy
A Christian farmer spent the day in the city.
In a restaurant for his meal, he sat near a group of young men. After he bowed his head to give thanks for his food, one of the young men thought he would embarrass the old gentleman.
"Hey, farmer, does everyone do that out where you live?"
The old man calmly replied, "No, son, the pigs don't!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
The door to my office exploded as hundreds, at least it seemed that many to me, of children surrounded my desk. My defenses were down and the merry mob held me captive. Wisely, I decided to surrender and throw myself on the mercy of the gang.
Simultaneously, and in hi-fi stereophonic sound, the children assaulted me with questions.
"Pastor, what's ya doin'?
"Pastor, is that your computer?
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Heading into Target . . . .
Wife: "All we need is milk and a loaf of bread. This will be Quick"
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
