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Entertainment

One-Liner #1707

christmas reindeerHow much did Santa pay for his sleigh?

Nothing; it was on the house.

  • One-liners
  • Christmas One-liners
  • Santa Jokes

Short Mentorship

elf presentsI'm an elf-taught Christmas decorator.

  • Clean Puns
  • Christmas Puns

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4786 - December 18, 2022

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

another christmas closerThis Christmas comes with some emotional challenges for me.

Many of you will remember that my sister, Melissa, passed away shortly after Christmas last year. Officially the date of her death was December 31, but she was probably gone on the 28th when she ended up on life support. Between those dates the doctors first tried to see if she was still there, and then looked to see if any of her organs could be donated when they determined she wasn't.

Whichever date it was that she left her body is immaterial to the fact that all of the "first times without Melissa" we have gone through as a family (except for New Year's Eve) have fallen in the 2022 calendar year. And so with 48 weeks of practice missing her I anticipated Christmas would be the last "first year without her" hurdle to face. But then an unexpected thought splashed into my head last week when it occurred to me that a year ago she was still here. That splash brought a surprise wave of sadness when I realized I was running out of days when that would be true.

It has been 26 years since Susan and I moved to the West Coast of Canada, marking the beginning of living 3,000 miles away from my family. Over those years I have been no stranger to goodbyes at the airport after wonderful visits by both family and friends. But it is one particular goodbye at the airport that sticks out to me as the hardest: the day our eldest child flew the nest at 17 for a summer exchange program in Quebec before going on to college in Toronto. It was a new beginning for all of us, but for my wife an I it was also an ending, and a sorrowful one at that.

After sitting with Alyssa until there was only enough time to say goodbye before she caught her flight, Susan and I proceeded to a lounge in the Victoria Airport where those not travelling can watch planes come and go. There we stood at the window, watching our daughter's plane back away from the gate, taxi to the runway, take to the air and then bank away from us. I had said goodbye and she was no longer with me, but still seeing Alyssa's proximity comforted me - or at least delayed the dreadful reality of something irreversible that my heart was crying out to my brain to undo. I watched her plane get smaller and smaller until the point I was afraid to blink because I might not be able to find the spot where that speck had been when I closed my eyes. Eventually even wide open eyes could see her no more. 

The realization that there are only a few days left when I can say, "Melissa was still here last year at this time," made me feel like I did at that airport window. My heart and my brain panicked together, wanting to come up with a plan to undo everything while at the same time coming to grips again with the fact that nothing could be undone. The comfort and distraction of her proximity will be gone soon too.

Make no mistake. I am confident and comforted that my sister is safe in arms of Jesus whose birth she celebrated during Christmas . . . . last year at this time. But I wanted to share what I am feeling this Christmas because I know some of you are feeling the same, or similar, things.

Today's video share (Another Christmas Closer) fits right in with all of those feelings.

Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 



Nativity Accent

fire fighter helmetIn a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it.

One small feature bothered me.

The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets! Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets.

She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!"

I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage.

Sticking it in my face she said "See, it says right here, 'The three wise men came from afar'!".



One-Liner #1706

man11Dear Santa, All I want is a fat bank account and a skinny body; please don't mix it up again like last year!



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Allergy Warning!

christmas cookiesI made these snacks all by my elf.



Quote #2143

man sad"Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most."

- Ruth Carter Stapleton



Prayer, Children, Amen

man vestMy 9yr. old niece says her prayers every night and instead of Amen she says: "Hit ENTER"


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

Where Does Santa Get His Naughty or Nice List?

Cat on a MatThis week the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage approached me with a serious question.

As far as I am concerned, life is full of questions, but coming from her, I need to be very careful. I have found out that a question with her is not merely a question. It can be a whole lot more than that with multiple layers. I am still trying to figure out the dimensions of her questions.

If I do not understand her question, my answer is going to get me into trouble. Believe me; I know what trouble is all about.

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Allergy Warning!

christmas cookiesI made these snacks all by my elf.

  • Clean Puns
  • Christmas Puns

One-Liner #1706

man11Dear Santa, All I want is a fat bank account and a skinny body; please don't mix it up again like last year!

  • Christmas Jokes
  • Christmas Humor
  • Christmas One-liners
  1. Nativity Accent
  2. If I Were Santa
  3. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4785 - December 15, 2022
  4. Decoration Modesty

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1986

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2041

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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