In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it.
One small feature bothered me.
The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets! Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.
If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do?
I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door...
Things you have lost, but treasured before.
I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,
And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Thanks to everyone who pointed out that the link for Sunday's video share was incorrect. You can click here to watch the Opium Bubble Man.
Today's video share is another song I came across while listening to Christmas music while working. I think you will enjoy "Oh What a King."
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman.
After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the roadside in distress.
Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor?
(Scroll down for the answer.)
The perfect woman. She's the only one that really existed in the first place. everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man...
(Women, end e-mail here. Men, keep scrolling.)
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.
(by the way if you're a woman, and you're reading this...this brings up another point....women never listen either.......)
My ability to turn holiday joy into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into weight gain.
- Smug Lemur
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Christmas trees wear skirts so you won't cedar roots.
"Freshly cut Christmas trees smelling of stars and snow and pine resin—inhale deeply and fill your soul with wintry night."
- John J. Geddes
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could get used to that.
And another thing; before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. That wouldn't bother me either.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business; you swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.
Also, your husband expects you to growl when you wake up. He expects you to have hairy legs and excess body fat. He likes it.
I wish I were a bear.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Christmas is the one time of the year when it is OK to be traditional. That may be the reason why so many people look forward to the Christmas holidays.
The rest of the year most people are under the pressure to be "non-traditional," whatever that may mean. Today it is not politically correct to be traditional, and if you are you run the risk of being out of favor with the rest of society.
Christmas, however, is a different time altogether for everyone. July may be a good month to be non-traditional, but not December. There is a time to be non-traditional and then there is a time to regain your senses and enjoy the amenities of good, old-fashion, traditionalism.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Christmas trees wear skirts so you won't cedar roots.
My ability to turn holiday joy into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into weight gain.
- Smug Lemur
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
