There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman.
After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the roadside in distress.
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Sunday greetings, everyone!
We have a new community being built in a huge, decommissioned gravel pit that Cybersalt World Headquarters looks over from on top of a hill. As more and more houses below are completed over the years, more and more are decorated with lights at Christmas. The other night, Grandma Cybersalt observed that it was like living living next to a Christmas village. Well, she actually said it was like *having* our own Christmas village, but we try not to be feudal in relation to our neighbours so I'll stick to the fact we live next to them!
Today's video share is a relaxing presentation by the "Opium Bubble Man." Don't worry, only the bubbles get high.
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Dear Friend,
This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to tell you what I have been up to.
Since it snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand-painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peach and mauves. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it from DNA that I just had sitting around in my craft room.
By then, it was time to start making the place mats and napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I'm serving the old standard Stewart twelve-course breakfast, but I'll let you in on a little secret: I didn't have time to make the table and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand.
Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to add just a touch of the holidays. So, I repainted the room in pinks and stenciled gold stars on the ceiling. Then, while the homemade bread was rising, I took antique candle molds and made the dishes (exactly the same shade of pink) to use for breakfast. These were made from Hungarian clay, which you can get in almost any neighborhood Hungarian craft store.
Well, I must run. I need to finish the buttonholes on the dress I'm wearing for breakfast. I'll get out the sled and drive this note to the post office as soon as the glue dries on the envelope I'll be making.
Hope my breakfast guests don't stay too long. I have 40,000 cranberries to string with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon. It's a good thing.
Your Friend,
Martha Stewart
P.S. When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8-inch gold gauze. I soaked the gauze in a mixture of white grapes and blackberries which I grew, picked and crushed last week just for fun.
I always tell my kids that if you fart on Santa's lap, he's required by North Pole law to bring you two of everything you ask for.
- Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house.
“Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home.”
-G. K. Chesterton
The teacher was trying desperately to get three twelve-year-old boys to act out the part of the three kings, but with little success.
When they got to the crib where the pretend baby was lying, each boy in turn showed awkwardness and embarrassment. The teacher, too, was growing more and more frustrated as she tried and tried again.
"This time," she said, "As you come and look at the baby, say something - the kind of thing people say at home when they see a baby."
The first, and the second boy just couldn't get it right.
Then came the third boy and, looking into the crib he said: "O, isn't he like his father!"
"He that has seen Me has seen the Father also." - John 14:9
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I always tell my kids that if you fart on Santa's lap, he's required by North Pole law to bring you two of everything you ask for.
- Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house.
Dear Friend,
This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to tell you what I have been up to.
Since it snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand-painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peach and mauves. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it from DNA that I just had sitting around in my craft room.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
