DEPT. OF HOMELAND SECURITY ALERT
We've just been notified by Security that there have been 6 suspected terrorists working out of your office.
Five of the six have been apprehended. Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, Bin Goofin, Bin Lunchin and Bin Drinkin have been taken into custody.
Read more: Homeland Security Alert: The Bin Brigade's Office Invasion
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Grandma Cybersalt is off to another conference. She is attending The Refugee Highway Partnership: North America, gathering in Winnipeg. As I am not travelling with her this time, my job is to stay home and successfully repeat the science experiment of keeping myself alive for 4 days - 2 of which are full days on my own, lol.
Today's video share is of an instrument built by María Ruíz and Abraham Cupeiro, based on the cornus found at Pompeii in the 19th century.
Click Here to Watch
~ Pastor Tim
While waiting in line at the bank, a friend developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller's window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took my friend's check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. After a minute she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check.
"Why not?" my friend asked incredulously.
"I'm sorry, sir," she replied, "but our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact," she continued, "our records show your account overdrawn in excess of $5000."
"It CAN'T be!" he cried. "You have GOT to be kidding!"
"Yes, I am," she answered with a big smile, counting out his cash. "But you will notice that your hiccups are gone."
I had my patience tested; I'm negative.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!
"If your plan is for 1 year, plant rice.
If your plan is for 10 years, plant trees.
If your plan is for 100 years, educate children."
- Confucius
I heard a story years ago which, I hope, will bring a lot of comfort to those who are taunted with the "if you had more faith..." issue.
I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor. The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who has that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear.
The lady, who was obviously crying, said, "Pastor, I was born blind, and I've been blind all my life. I don't mind being blind but I have some well meaning friends who tell me that if I had more faith I could be healed."
The pastor asked her, "Tell me, do you carry one of those white canes?"
"Yes I do," she replied.
"Then the next time someone says that hit, them over the head with the cane," He said. "Then tell them 'If you had more faith that wouldn't hurt!'"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
- photo by Susan PageWarm sunlight caresses a pathway of gold
The beauty of Autumn with colours so bold
The hues of the sumac, the crimson and brown
Each leaf like a whisper falls soft to the ground
The Fall is alluring and yet it won’t last
The salmon are spawning, the shadow is cast
The birds sing their warning and wing their way south
The squirrels are stuffing their bellies and mouth
It’s time for warm sweaters and firm hiking shoes
Go map out a trail there’s no time to lose
The long days are waning and summer’s no more
Each season still blesses with more to explore
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I had my patience tested; I'm negative.
While waiting in line at the bank, a friend developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller's window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took my friend's check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. After a minute she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check.
"Why not?" my friend asked incredulously.
"I'm sorry, sir," she replied, "but our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact," she continued, "our records show your account overdrawn in excess of $5000."
"It CAN'T be!" he cried. "You have GOT to be kidding!"
"Yes, I am," she answered with a big smile, counting out his cash. "But you will notice that your hiccups are gone."
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings, everyone, and Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! (Or as we call it in Canada: Thanksgiving)
Grandma Cybersalt and I were able to celebrate Thanksgiving last night with two of our kids and their families. Add to that the wonderful visit we had two weeks ago with our other daughter and her family, and we are chock full of gratefulness for time with family. And, as if that were not already enough, I am so thankful for some really exciting emotional healing God is doing in me in this season of my life right now. I will be 59 in just over 3 weeks, but it all has me feeling giddy like a school girl!
Today's video share is another video about an art form I would love to try some day: Venetian Glass Art this time.
Click here to watch.
~ Pastor Tim
Thanksgiving Forecast Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.
During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.
A weight-watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.
Looking ahead to Tuesday and Wednesday (in Canada), high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops.
By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.
- Elliot Abrams, excerpted from the forthcoming book, "Weather Prognosticators and the Media: Fallacies, Facts, and Fun in Forecasting", by Norm Macdonald
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!
"Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day."
- Robert Caspar Lintner
A 4-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Thanksgiving dinner happily obliged.
The family members bowed their heads in expectation.
He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.
He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited ... and waited.
After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
For some people, getting old is a real challenge. And it probably is for many people, but it hasn't been too much of an issue for me.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
