Entertainment

Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!

A used car is not always what it's jacked up to be.

Thanksgiving Forecast Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F.  The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other.  Please pass the gravy.

A weight-watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway.  During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Tuesday and Wednesday (in Canada), high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established.  Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day.  We expect a warming trend where soup develops.

By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.

- Elliot Abrams, excerpted from the forthcoming book, "Weather Prognosticators and the Media: Fallacies, Facts, and Fun in Forecasting", by Norm Macdonald 

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Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Grandma Cybersalt and I are back from our trip. We had a really nice visit with our eldest daughter, her family, and my mom and dad. The conference Susan attended was excellent as well.

One of the blessings on this trip was my meeting with my natural father. It was the first time in almost 29 years that we have been in the same room. Jesus has been working in his life and that has made room for a reconciliation to sprout in the last 14 months. God has helped me in so many ways during the years of our estrangement and I had long ago forgiven my father, but there were still things that could not be resolved within me unless they came freely from he himself.

Today's video share shows a car powered by humans. I don't think the world is ready for it yet - I know I'm not!
Click Here to Watch

~ Pastor Tim 

* The patient before you was a goat.

* Instead of anesthetic he has you watch PBS.

* He has an assistant named Igor.

* The local bar association named him "Client of the Year."

* Whenever he leaves the room his nurse makes duck noises.

* During surgery he has to keep repeating that "thigh bone connected to the knee bone" song.

* Mike Wallace and a film crew are hanging out in his waiting room.

* He asks you to turn your head and cough during an eye exam.

* You can beat him in a game of Operation.

* All his Medical books are from the Time-Life "Do-it-Yourself Series."

I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

The math department felt they weren't getting enough students registering as math majors, so they made a commercial and aired it on prime time--1 o'clock, 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock, 5 o'clock, 7 o'clock, and 11 o'clock.

"Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."

My husband, Lawrence, had offered to give the toast at the wedding of his longtime friend Theo. They had shared many happy, and foolish incidents, and as the day approached, there was much speculation as to which events Lawrence was going to reveal.

At the reception when Lawrence rose to speak, the groom looked terrified.

"I don't have to tell you anything embarrassing about Theo," Lawrence began, "because for the last three months, he's been so worried about what I might say that he's already confessed everything he could think of to his bride."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Susan Page writes . . . . 

- photo by Susan PageI glide like silk upon the water
The lake as smooth and clear as glass
The breeze so soft it's like a feather
I drift and dream and breathe at last

My paddle dips, the sunlight sparkles
A dragonfly lands upon my knee
My fears are gone, my spirits lifted
I sense and feel the God who sees

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.