My wife asked for chap stick and I accidently gave her a glue stick ... she's still not talking to me.
The first rule of "Condescending Club" is really quite complex - and to be honest with you, I don't think you'd understand it even if I explained it to you in very simple terms.
Sunday greetings everyone - and welcome to August!
If you attend a church that has a board of elders, today is a good day to tell them you appreciate them and to encourage them. Just do it, even if it seems to you like they don't do much because they are probably handling some important (maybe even difficult) situations in your church in a very quiet way!
Today's video is a demonstrating of the power of MRI magnets!
Click Here to Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Me: I'm heading out to escort the canine on a jaunty trek about the neighborhood.
My husband: Why don't you just say you're going to walk the dog?
Dog: goes absolutely nuts!
The first rule of "Condescending Club" is really quite complex - and to be honest with you, I don't think you'd understand it even if I explained it to you in very simple terms.
My wife asked for chap stick and i accidently gave her a glue stick ... she's still not talking to me.
"The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit. Be patient and keep watering."
- attr. Fabienne Fredrickson
In a mother’s womb were two babies. One asked the other: “Do you believe in life after delivery?” The other replied, “Why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later.”
“Nonsense” said the first. “There is no life after delivery. What kind of life would that be?”
The second said, “I don’t know, but there will be more light than here. Maybe we will walk with our legs and eat from our mouths. Maybe we will have other senses that we can’t understand now.”
The first replied, “That is absurd. Walking is impossible. And eating with our mouths? Ridiculous! The umbilical cord supplies nutrition and everything we need. But the umbilical cord is so short. Life after delivery is to be logically excluded.”
The second insisted, “Well I think there is something and maybe it’s different than it is here. Maybe we won’t need this physical cord anymore.”
The first replied, “Nonsense. And moreover if there is life, then why has no one has ever come back from there? Delivery is the end of life, and in the after-delivery there is nothing but darkness and silence and oblivion. It takes us nowhere.”
“Well, I don’t know,” said the second, “but certainly we will meet Mother and she will take care of us.”
The first replied “Mother? You actually believe in Mother? That’s laughable. If Mother exists then where is She now?”
The second said, “She is all around us. We are surrounded by her. We are of Her. It is in Her that we live. Without Her this world would not and could not exist.”
Said the first: “Well I don’t see Her, so it is only logical that She doesn’t exist.”
To which the second replied, “Sometimes, when you’re in silence and you focus and you really listen, you can perceive Her presence, and you can hear Her loving voice, calling down from above.”
- Útmutató a Léleknek (Originally written in Hungarian by Útmutató a Léleknek, translated by Miranda Linda Weisz)
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Life has many paths, and I have discovered that traveling any of them takes a lot of energy.
Unlike The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, my energy comes from those wonderful Apple Fritters. I can't remember the first time I had one, but I vividly remember the last time.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
On Sunday I told you about the cake mishap that happened on Saturday at our youngest granddaughter's birthday party. I also told you that later on that same Sunday the plan was to have cupcakes at another birthday party (for another granddaughter) and that I would keep you posted.
The bag containing the cupcakes tipped over in the trunk of our car on the way to the party. They remained edible, but looked very different than the masterpieces they started out as.
Today's video share looks at the process of anodizing titanium and how to make it appear in different colours.
Click Here to Watch.
Enjoy the rest of today's digest!
~ Pastor Tim
An goober goes for a job interview in an office.
The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"
The goober counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying....... "Ehhhh... 22."
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces ....."Five foot two!"
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"
The goober bobs her head from side to side for about fifteen seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying ......."Mandy!"
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks "What were you doing when I asked you your name?"
"Ohhhh, that!" replies the goober, " I was just running through that song,...... 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....' ".
One day you will want to send me money but you will find me rich and I won't accept it - so use this opportunity now.
Isn't the Grand Canyon just gorges!?
My mind thinks I'm 25; my body thinks I'm an idiot!
While waiting at the veterinarian's office, I overheard two women chatting about their dogs.
"What's your dog's name?" asked the first woman.
"Well, we used to call her Pork Chop," answered the second lady. "But after the vet bills we've had, we now call her Filet Mignon."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
There are those devastating times when we receive hard news. Processing and dealing with the emotions that come with bad news takes strength that comes from God alone. However, there are circumstances where time is limited, and sometimes, by God’s grace, we need to simply, “just show up.”
I recently watched the story of Kara Tippetts. It’s called The Long Goodbye. It’s a story of a young pastor’s wife, a mother of four sweet kids, dealing with the devastating reality of stage IV cancer. It is a beautifully portrayed picture of a woman moving from fear and control toward peace and grace. She continually points towards the God of compassion who is with us in our suffering, shaping pain into beauty.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
A man is a person who, if a woman says, "Never mind, I'll do it myself; lets her."
A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her; gets mad.
A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she gets mad; says, "Now what are you mad about?"
A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she gets mad, and he says, "Now what are mad about?" says, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
