Funny thing about marriage is I would 100%, without a doubt, take bullet for my wife; but I can also say, 100%without a doubt, she'd be the reason we were getting shot at in the first place.
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Here at Cybersalt World Headquarters, the robins have Grandma Cybersalt and me literally up a tree: our cherry tree that is! The cherries are almost ripe enough to pick but apparently are already ripe enough for the robins to eat off the branch. Except they only take a little bite from a cherry and leave the rest for . . . . . well, whoever or whatever would want a half eaten robin cherry. So Susan and I have managed to wrap the tree in nylon netting to try and save some cherries for us (us being Susan because I do not enjoy cherries!)
Today's video share seems like it just can't be right. Just when mankind thought it was safe to go back to the moon, Orcas are Moonwalking!"
Click Here to Watch.
Enjoy the rest of today's digest!
~ Pastor Tim
Log on: making a wood stove hotter
Log off: don't add no more wood
Monitor: keeping an eye on the wood stove
Download: gettin the farwood off the truck
Mega Hertz: when yer not keerful getting the farwood
Floppy disc: whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
Ram: that thar thing what splits the farwood
Hard drive: gettin home in the winter time
Prompt: whut the mail ain't in the winter time
Windows: what to shut when it's cold outside
Screen: what to shut when it's blak fly season
Byte: what dem flys do
Chip: munchies fer the TV
Micro Chip: whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
Modem: whacha did to the hay fields
Dot Matrix: Old Dan Matrix's wife
Lap Top: whar the kitty sleeps
Keyboard: whar ya hang the keys
Software: them plastic forks and knifes
Mouse: what eats the grain in the barn
Mouse Pad: that hippie talk for the rat hole
Main frame: holds up the barn ruf
Port: fancy Flatlander wine
Enter: northerner talk fer C'Mon in y'all
Random Access Memory: when ya cain't 'member what ya paid fer the......
Sometimes I use big words I don't understand to make myself look more photosynthesis.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
I work as a banker. Last Friday, this older woman came to my counter and asked me to check her balance for her ...
Sooooo, I pushed!!
You can forgive some people without welcoming them back into your life.
Apology accepted; access denied.
- unknown
During a tour at the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, a New York City woman mentioned that she was raising a type of cactus in a pot on her apartment balcony.
Another tourist asked her how she kept from watering it too much, because the cactus would die if over watered.
"I subscribe to the Tucson newspaper," replied the New Yorker. "Every time I read that it rained in the desert, I give my plant some water."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
- photo by Susan PageTeach me to see others through the eyes of Your love.
Melt my heart so that it overflows with an outpouring of Your grace.
Empower me to spread my arms wide, embracing the least and the lonely.
May Your mercy flow through me, providing relief to the weary wanderer.
As I walk in the Light, may I reflect and illuminate a clear path for the lost.
Unclench my hands to touch the one who needs compassion.
May the sparkle of Your Holy Spirit be the warmth in my glance.
May the genuineness of my smile be an encouragement to the discouraged.
And may the wisdom of my words be enriching to those who are searching.
Holy Father, in Your mercy, remove my fear, doubt and timidity.
Increase my faith and saturate me with Holy Spirit boldness.
And fill me with an audacious, courageous longing to share this joy.
Thank You, Lord, that I, though unworthy, have been redeemed!
I am forgiven and qualified to share the Good News of the Gospel!
Open my eyes so I can see the harvest You have prepared for me!
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Hope these old tombstone epitaphs are still funny to you.
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903 - Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.
******************************
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up And no place to go.
Read more: ⚰️ Grave Humour: Witty & Amusing Epitaphs From Around the World
Log on: making a wood stove hotter
Log off: don't add no more wood
Monitor: keeping an eye on the wood stove
Download: gettin the farwood off the truck
Mega Hertz: when yer not keerful getting the farwood
Floppy disc: whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
I work as a banker. Last Friday, this older woman came to my counter and asked me to check her balance for her ...
Sooooo, I pushed!!
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
