Entertainment

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jag XK-8 in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.  As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the Jag.  The counsellor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and it wasn't more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically.  His Jag, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again, etc., etc., etc.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief.  "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said.  "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Didn't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down?  It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"Oh no!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"

10. Rehearsals are every Wednesday night. This means that for those few hours, you will significantly reduce your risk of contracting tendonitis from nonstop operation of a television remote control or computer mouse.

9. Because you wear a choir robe every Sunday, you are liberated from a task many men find quite challenging: finding clothes that match properly.

8. From your special vantage point every Sunday, in which you look out at the entire congregation from the choir seats, you will develop interesting new hobbies. Among these is a little guessing game called "Who's Praying, Who's Sleeping?"

7. On the other hand, sitting in full view of 400-500 people on a weekly basis makes it much less likely that you yourself will give in to a chronic lack of sleep, although it has been known to happen.

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Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

A big shout out and thank you to Pastor Jim S. (who lives in Northern Ireland) for raising a point about last week's "Drum Battle" video that I shared. In the news I commented the video made as made as much sense to me as churches beating their drums against each other, but as Jim pointed out some might think the video was about churches actually fighting with each other with the drums! To be clear, the video simply features some good old Irish lads having some fun (in a way that makes no sense to me, lol.)

Today's video share is of a car show that never happened. In fact nothing in this video, the location, the cars, the people, the sounds nor the voices are real. Every scene in this video is AI generated after simply typing in instructions about what was desired for the screen. The day has arrived when one cannot simply just believe what they are watching and hearing.
Click Here to Watch.

Enjoy the rest of today's digest!

~ Pastor Tim 

~ The last time you took your kids to a Monster Truck pull the parking attendants directed you right onto the stadium racetrack.

~ When you replaced your tires, Goodyear stock went up five dollars a share for the quarter.

~ Your garage is larger than your house.

~ One of those "Oversize Load" escort trucks has to precede you down the interstate.

~ Your kids refer to riding the bus to school as "downsizing."

~ Before you go out, you have to file for a parade permit.

~ You're the first one in your neighborhood to own a 2026 Halliburton-Rolling House S-Class twin-turbo.

~ It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo Metro into orbit.

~ There are two successful Starbucks franchises located in the back.

~ It doubles as a carport for your Taurus.

~ It's great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down into an entire field, complete with goals.

~ You need a Sherpa and an oxygen tank to reach the driver's seat.

~ Your buddy riding shotgun is in a different time zone.

~ Mortgage payment = $3200. Texaco card payment = $3201.

~ You get a letter from Hans Blix demanding that it be dismantled immediately because it qualifies as a WMD.

~ The fuel gauge doubles as a fan.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but living your life to the fullest does not have to involve hiking.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

I walked out of my job at the helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice!

"Out of 100 people, one will read the Bible, the other 99 will read the Christian."

- D. L. Moody

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate.

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won. Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy. Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.

Simplify your life.
Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.
Write poetry.

Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.
Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.

It is true that life does not get easier with age. It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid.
Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in Jesus.
Don't grow old.
Just grow YOU!

- Unknown

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Susan Page writes . . . . 

- photo by Susan PageMany years ago, when my daughter was in high school, we hosted a young girl from China. While walking through a field overrun with dandelions, the Chinese student commented on the beautiful yellow flowers strewn across our fields. It reminded me of the quote from James Russell Lowell: “A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.”

Once again, I am pondering the topic of perspective. I have shared thoughts on this topic before; however, having come through a difficult winter into the marvels of a new spring season, my mind continues to sort through what it means to have a godly perspective.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

William Howard Taft weighed 335 lbs. which was a lot even for his six-foot frame.

One day someone pointed to Taft's massive stomach and asked, "What are you going to name the baby?"