One-liners

"Before they made him they broke the mold."

"If we're not supposed to have midnight snacks, then why is there a light in the fridge?"

"Women don't want to hear what you think.  Women want to hear what they think . . . in a deeper voice."
- Bill Cosby

Thank you…Black Socks with Sandals, for officially declaring to the world, “I've stopped trying.”

"There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data"

"Life is too short to remove usb safely."

"Stop anthropomorphizing tools - they hate it."

"Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something."
- Mitch Hedberg

"Sliced bread: The best thing since ripped up bread."

"Women don't want to hear what you think.  Women want to hear what they think . . . in a deeper voice."
- Bill Cosby

"The plan for the paperless office looked good  . . . on paper."

"You've outdone yourself, as usual."

"Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film."

"Curiosity Killed the Cat: that's the dog's story, and he's sticking to it!"

"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before."