One-liners

“Confidence is what you feel before you comprehend the situation.”

“Denial: How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.”

“Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I drive by again?”

“Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.”

“Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.”

“Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency; I think you should write "911"!”

“Everyone is entitled to my opinion.”

“Everyone is on this low-fat craze now; the Mayo Clinic just changed its name to the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.”

“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.”

“Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.”

“Fools rush in...and get all the best seats.”

“Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules.”

“He who hesitates is not only lost but is miles from the next exit.”

“Here lies Ezekial Aikle age 102 - the Good Die Young.”