Cybersalt News
If you ever accidentally set someone on fire may we suggest you apologize in a way that doesn't involve heat? This "Sorry Cake" probably misses the mark:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/sorry-cake
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Today's CleanLaugh
Signs Your Garage Needs to be Cleaned
- It just entered itself in the heavyweight division on BattleBots.
- I don't care what mortgage company you use, they're not going to ask for paycheck stubs from anything earlier than the Eisenhower administration.
- Environmentalists picket in your driveway to save the old-growth cobwebs.
- You have 12 leaf rakes with a total of 19 tines.
- Your missing son emerges twelve years after disappearing, with a tale of being raised by boxes and old exercise equipment.
- Cockroaches won't go in there without 12 pairs of tiny rubber gloves on.
- "Antiques Roadshow" holds a live broadcast from your driveway.
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1034
I am going to be healthy if it kills me.
Today's Clean Pun
Seabird Sausage
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Never thought my butcher would turn a sea bird into sausage: but then he took a tern for the wurst.
Today's Quote
Quote #1482
"Saying something is NOT okay is not being any more judgmental than the person who says it is. Permissiveness doesn't negate judgment."
- Norm Funk
Today's Illustration
Tired Dog
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head. Then he followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
An hour later he went to the door and I let him out.
The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.
Curious, I pinned this note to his collar: "I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful, sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."
The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3. He's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Equine Opportunities: If the horses ever realize the barn door isn't locked, they're gonna have a field day.
An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 