Why do they call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"?
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
Entertainment
Cybersalt News
Cybersalt's Mother's Day Jokes collection page has been spruced up. You'll find a collection of jokes for tomorrow's special day at:
www.cybersalt.org/tag/13-mother-s-day-jokes
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Geraniums
A man walked into a flower shop and after looking around for several minutes, asked the clerk if there were any potted geraniums he could buy.
"I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop,
"We don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?"
Replied the customer sadly,
"No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1047
I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.
Today's Clean Pun
Jedi Utensils
Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobe walk into a Chinese Restaurant.
Ten minutes into the meal, Luke is still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere.
Obi-Wan finally tells him, “Use the forks, Luke."
Today's Quote
Quote #1495
"Lord, enlighten what's dark in me, strengthen what's weak in me, mend what's broken in me, bind what's bruised in me, heal what's sick in me, and lastly, revive whatever peace and love has died in me."
- Anonymous
Today's Illustration
Raising Children and Bamboo
Did you know that there is a certain type of bamboo in Japan that only flowers once every 120 years?
It's certainly puzzling how this plant can keep track of time, but everything 119 years before it germinates will determine how much the bamboo will bloom. And that's a long time to wait to see the results.
In the same way, children don't always blossom on your timetable. The love, discipline and instruction you pour into their lives cannot be immediately seen. Your job as a parent is to prune and nourish your children in anticipation of their blooming. And once they do, you'll see them grow rapidly into patient, loving and consistent people.
The latest bloomers often have the most striking and beautiful flowers.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
"In dog years, I'm dead." - Unknown
Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobe walk into a Chinese Restaurant.
Ten minutes into the meal, Luke is still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere.
Obi-Wan finally tells him, “Use the forks, Luke."
At the end of the college year, a star football player celebrated the relaxation of team curfew by attending a late night campus party.
Soon after arriving, he became captivated by a beautiful coed and eased into a conversation with her by asking if she met many dates at parties.
"Oh, I have a 3.8, so I'm much more attracted to the strong academic types than to dumb party animals," she said. "What's your G.P.A.?"
Grinning from ear to ear, the jock boasted, "I get about 25 in the city and 40 on the highway."
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Are you looking for funny elephant pictures? You've come to the right place!
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1572
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes. Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 2005
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2059
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!