Regarding "Descriptions:"
This fact is clear to those who know it.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
Entertainment
Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone.
There is a new inspirational video on the Cybersalt site today. We should all strive to be as grateful as the little girl in "The Paperclip" at:
www.cybersalt.org/videos/the-paperclip
Also, Rev. James Snyder has figured out that part of being "merry" at Christmas is finding true rest. You can read "The Merrification of Christmas" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/the-merrification-of-christmas
Finally, please pray to Jesus for healing for a little girl named "Flower". She and her family are Pakistani Christians who have fled for their lives to Thailand. You can watch a brief video telling more about their story and Flower's need at:
www.pakistanevangelisticministries.org/pakistani-refugees-in-thailand/pray-for-flower
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Christmas Riches
Rick, my husband, and I had a hectic holiday schedule encompassing careers, teenagers, shopping, and all the required doings of the season.
Running out of time, I got the stationer to print our signature on our Christmas cards, instead of signing each one.
Soon we started getting cards from friends signed "The Modest Morrisons," "The Clever Clarks," and "The Successful Smiths."
Then it hit me.
I had mailed out a hundred cards neatly imprinted with "Happy Holidays from the Rich Armstrongs."
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1147
Regarding "Descriptions:"
Words are incapable of describing what I am about to tell you.
Today's Clean Pun
Christmastime
"Christmas is a time when lots of people get Santa-mental."
Today's Quote
Quote #1595
"Where did i say that you should buy so much stuff to celebrate my birthday!?"
Today's Illustration
1 Corinthians 13 for Christmas
If I speak in the tongues of Christmas materialism and greed but have not love, I am only a tinny Christmas song or an out of tune choir.
If I have the gift of knowing what Aunt Agatha will give me this year and can even understand last year's present, and if I have the faith that I won't get yet more socks and ties this year but have not love, I am nothing.
If I clear out the house and give everything to charity and my credit cards are snapped in half but have not love, what can I possibly gain?
Love is patient when the fourth store you've tried doesn't have a bottle garden.
Love is kind and lets the couple with only a few items go in front of you and your bulging shopping cart.
Love does not envy your friend who gets mega-presents from everybody.
Love does not boast about the $1200 bike, the ipad, the TV, cell phone, and computer your dad gave you.
Love does not attempt to out-buy, out-wrap, and out-give the rest of the family just to impress.
Love doesn't cut Aunt Flo off your Christmas card list because she forgot you last year.
Love is not self-seeking and leaves a copy of your Christmas list in every room of the house.
Love is not easily angered when the young girl at the checkout takes forever because she is just temporary staff.
Love doesn't keep remembering how many times your mum forgets you don't like brussel sprouts.
Love does not delight in the commercial bandwagon but rejoices with the truth of a baby born in the stable.
Love always protects the family from Christmas hype.
Love always trusts that the hiding places for presents will remain secret for another year.
Love always hopes that this year more neighbors will drop in to your open house coffee morning.
Love always perseveres until the cards are written, the presents all bought, the shopping done, and the Christmas cake iced.
Toys may break, socks wear thin but love never fails.
Where there is the feeling of the presents to guess their contents, and mum going on about being good so Father Christmas will come, and searching through the cupboards to find your hidden presents, they will all stop.
For we think we know what we are getting, and we hope we know what we are getting but when Christmas Day arrives all will be revealed.
When I was a child I talked with big wide-open eyes about Christmas, thought that Christmas was all about me; I reasoned that Jesus should have been born more often. When I became an adult, I forgot the joy, wonder, and excitement of this special time.
Now we just hear about the angels, shepherds, and wise men, then we shall see them all the time. Now I know as much as the Bible says about the first Christmas, then I shall know just how many wise men there were and where they came from.
Now three things remain to be done:
To have faith that the baby born in a stable is the Son of God.
To hope that the true message of Christmas will not get discarded with the wrapping paper and unwanted gifts.
And the most important: to have a love for others like the one that God has for us.
Copyright 2001 Claire Jordan, Permission is granted to send this to others, but not for commercial purposes.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Rick, my husband, and I had a hectic holiday schedule encompassing careers, teenagers, shopping, and all the required doings of the season.
Running out of time, I got the stationer to print our signature on our Christmas cards, instead of signing each one.
Soon we started getting cards from friends signed "The Modest Morrisons," "The Clever Clarks," and "The Successful Smiths."
Then it hit me.
I had mailed out a hundred cards neatly imprinted with "Happy Holidays from the Rich Armstrongs."
Regarding "Descriptions:"
Words are incapable of describing what I am about to tell you.
4214
Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
It's that time of the year again for a couple of my pet peeves. One is Christians being all rude and snooty about keeping Christ in Christmas. Of course I want keep Christ in Christmas, but let's not be jerks about how we argue for it.
Another pet peeve is the returning echo of people saying the story of Jesus is simply an adaptation of other stories of other "gods" before him. I've added a video to Cybersalt that take a fun look at those claims. You'll find "Horus Ruins Christmas" at:
www.cybersalt.org/videos/horus-ruins-christmas
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Husband and Wife Christmas Shopping
A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, she called him on her mobile phone.The wife said, " Where are you? You know we have lots to do."
He said, "Do you remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop," she replied.
"Well, I am in the gun shop next door to that."
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1146
Regarding "Eternal Truths:"
No two things are the same, no matter how you look at them.
Today's Clean Pun
Christmas Assault
Aggressive Carolers: Wassailants
Today's Quote
Quote #1594
Want to keep Christ in Christmas?
Feed the hungry, cloth the naked, forgive the guilty, welcome the stranger and the unwanted child, care for the ill, love your enemies.
- Steve Maraboli
Today's Illustration
Family, Holiday Visits
A minister well known for his beautiful singing voice came home visibly upset after consulting with a new widow about funeral plans for her recently deceased husband. His wife asked him what was wrong, and he revealed that the wife had asked him to sing her husband's favorite song, "Jingle Bells," at the funeral.
He was troubled that it wasn't appropriate to the solemn occasion. He struggled and prayed about it, and finally decided to honor the grieving widow's wishes.
At the funeral, still sensitive about how some of the mourners might react to hearing "Jingle Bells" at a funeral, he carefully introduced the song with words about appreciating the sense of humor and lightheartedness of the deceased.
The widow had been very tearful during the service. Hearing the introduction to her late husband's "favorite song" she sat up and began to appear quite interested. As the preacher began the song, the widow began to smile, and her tears dried up.
She was actually giggling as he concluded, and he felt glad he'd decided to honor her request since it obviously had been so comforting.
After the service she thanked the pastor for sharing his music ministry, and with a big grin she added, "By the way, the favorite song I requested was 'When They Ring Those Golden Bells!'"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Are you looking for funny elephant pictures? You've come to the right place!
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1572
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes. Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 1999
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2059
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!