Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
With a new year ahead, Rev. James Snyder is looking forward with a keen appreciation of the memories - and a promise - from the past. You can read "Another Christmas up the Chimney" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/another-christmas-up-the-chimney
Also, I've updated the "New Year Jokes" tag on the Cybersalt site. There is a potpourri of material waiting to make you the life of the party at:
www.cybersalt.org/tag/91-new-years-jokes
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
You Know You Overdid Christmas Dinner When
You Know You Overdid Christmas Dinner When . . .
- Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.
- The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!
- You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.
- Friday you set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog.
- Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
- A guest quotes a Biblical passage from "The Feeding of the 5000."
- That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.
- Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.
- Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this.
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1152
They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a cat getting ready to vomit; NOTHING makes you jump out of bed faster!
Today's Clean Pun
Roman Numeral Amnesia
I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals.
I'm LIVID.
Today's Quote
Quote #1600
"I do not understand the mystery of grace; only that it meets us where we are and doesn't leave us where it found us."
- Anne Lamott
Today's Illustration
The Day After Christmas
'Twas the day after Christmas and all through the room
Strewn wrappings were crying for use of a broom.
The children were scattered the friends' gifts exploring
Since now most of theirs were broken or boring.
All tummies still stuffed from the fabulous feast;
Leftovers would serve for one month at least.
And mama and papa were the countryside ranging,
Those unwanted gifts returned or exchanging.
Yes Christmas is past with its bustle and noise—
Sales and carols, Santas and toys.
Decorations are packed the yule tree's discarded
The holiday's over just as we got started
To celebrate peace and the meaning of giving
To discover real love and the purpose for living.
Dear Jesus please help us to stop and remember
That you came to earth not just for December.
But from birth in a manger to death on a cross
You gave up your glory and counted it loss.
So now as we trust You— God’s only Son—
The real celebration has only begun!
Copyright 2007 Dave Veerman. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
The other night, three-year-old Billy was showing the Terracotta nativity scene in his living room to his stuffed dragon.
Mary glared at me
Some of you on this list will actually enjoy these - proof once again of the need for more therapists in the world, lol.
God is not served by human hands as though he needed anything (Acts 17:25). The gifts of the magi are not given by way of assistance or need-meeting. It would dishonor a monarch if foreign visitors came with royal care-packages.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 