Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses.
"You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married."
"Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!"
Death is a once in a lifetime experience.
Issue #4465
Oh look, Chicken Thursday - and Happy 4th of July to all American Cybersaltines!
For some time now I have been wanting to visit "Big Lonely Doug," a 230 foot Douglas Fir tree left standing in a clear cut of trees. Doug is in the middle of nowhere, but I finally made it out to visit Doug with my friends Juan and Joyce Ruiz who came over from Port Angeles, Washington, for some adventure. As you can see form the two pictures below, Doug was really lonely and happy we visited.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
- Red Buttons
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car
he sticks his head out the window.
- Steve Bluestone
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
- George Carlin
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
- Carol Leifer
The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
- Roger Simon
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
- Dave Edison
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
- Johnny Carson
I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country.
Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache.
- Jack Mayberry
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how
long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
- Elayne Boosler
Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
- John Mendoza
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
- Jeff Stilson
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental
illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
- Rita Mae Brown
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
- Lily Tomlin
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish-burger and I realize, Oh
no....I could be eating a slow learner.
- Lynda Montgomery
You don't stand alone. I also stand alone!
If money grew on trees, in the Fall you'd really be raking it in!
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Today's Illustration
Within a year, our Young Couples Department at church had grown from one class of eight active couples to four classes with 56 active couples!
On Baby Dedication Sunday that year, we had 19 babies!
Our Pastor was so excited. He stood in the pulpit that Sunday with 19 babies and their parents facing him. He wanted to brag on these couples and the great job that they had done growing this Young Couples Department. However, here's what he actually said: "Just look at ALL these babies! Folks, this just goes to show what our young couples have been doing!!!"
The laughter started and continued for several minutes. Every time the pastor tried to say something, the laughter would begin again. Finally, the red-faced pastor added, "For which we are grateful."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
"If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober
The young goober rancher came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?
The young rancher answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
- Red Buttons
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car
he sticks his head out the window.
- Steve Bluestone
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
- George Carlin
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
