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Entertainment

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4462 - June 23, 2019

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

restaurant 2Sunday greetings everyone and happy beginning of summer to everyone in the northern hemisphere. Don't worry, southerners, the sun is on its way back!

Rev. James Snyder likes to keep things simple - which complicates his marriage sometimes. You can read more about that in "Whatever Happened to the Simple Things in Life?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/whatever-happened-to-the-simple-things-in-life

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim


Today's CleanLaugh

State of the Pastor

map usaThe old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week.

He walked into the 4th-grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.

One lad raised his hand and said,

"Yes, but in those days there were only 13 states."


Today's One Liner

One-liner #1388

walking feetOn the sunny side of the street it's a little bit warmer.


Today's Clean Pun

Aqua Army

fish schoolTwo fish in a tank:

One looks at the other and says, "You man the guns. I'll drive."


Today's Quote

Quote 1829

quote 1829

Heavenly Father,
I may not understand how everything will work out, but I trust you.
I don't see a way, but I know you will make a way.
I have faith at this very moment you are touching hearts, opening doors, and lining up the right break and opportunities.
Things look dark and bleak now, but I have faith that my dawn is coming!
In Jesus' name, Amen!

- Unknown


Today's Illustration

Communication Skills

woman7A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty. He said...no.

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever ... and he said no.

She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said:

You're not pretty you're beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever. And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4463 - June 23, 2019

  Issue #4463     The Cybersalt Digest

 

   
               

Cybersalt News

restaurant 2Sunday greetings everyone and happy beginning of summer to everyone in the northern hemisphere. Don't worry, southerners, the sun is on its way back!

Rev. James Snyder likes to keep things simple - which complicates his marriage sometimes. You can read more about that in "Whatever Happened to the Simple Things in Life?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/whatever-happened-to-the-simple-things-in-life

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

     



Today's CleanLaugh

Jogging Time

joggersA man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep.

As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.

"Yes?"

"Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?"

The man looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15".

The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.

"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"

"8:25!"

The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!"

Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.

"Sir, sir? It's 8:45!."



Today's One Liner

One-liner #1389

mood"Essentially" is essentially meaningless.



Today's Clean Pun

Boat Classification

sailing shipPirate Ship: assailing vessel.



Today's Quote

Quote #1830

quote 1830

Jesus didn't say, "Follow Christians." He said, "Follow me."

- unknown


Today's Illustration

Child's Prayer

child smileA good friend was waiting nearby while his young son prayed silently before going to bed. Suddenly the boy burst out laughing.

"Reggie!" scolded his father, "Why are you laughing during prayer?"

"But Dad," the boy answered, "you told me that prayer is talking to God like a friend, and I just told him a joke."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

     

Aqua Army

fish schoolTwo fish in a tank:

One looks at the other and says, "You man the guns. I'll drive."

  • Clean Puns
  • Military Jokes
  • Military Humor
  • Fish Puns
  • Ocean Puns

One-liner #1388

walking feetOn the sunny side of the street it's a little bit warmer.

  • One-liners
  • Logic One-liners
  • Saying One-liners
  • Truth One-liners

State of the Pastor

map usaThe old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week.

He walked into the 4th-grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.

One lad raised his hand and said,

"Yes, but in those days there were only 13 states."

  • School Jokes
  • Ageing Jokes
  • Pastor Jokes
  • Student Jokes
  • Children Jokes
  1. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4461 - June 20, 2019
  2. Cigar Impression
  3. Bachelor Mario
  4. One-liner #1387

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1986

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2041

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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