I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.
A fellow and his wife in Houston, Texas, where the people are all patriots, were blessed with the birth of twins, two identical girls. These twins were born on the 4th of July, and the father, being patriotic, said to his wife, "We will name them Liberty and Justice, after the pledge of allegiance."
His wife said, "Are you nuts? You can't have girls going through life with names like Liberty and Justice. We are going to name them regular girl's names like Mary or Jane".
A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.
"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Frobisher's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."
Sunday greetings everyone! Today's mailing is going out late because of . . . . sleep. I chose sleep instead of finishing it up.
You know, like most people I often feel pretty smart because there are some things I'm pretty smart about. But there is so much to be smart about in the world and it only takes someone with different smarts to remind me that in the grand scheme of things I'm not unusually smart. Lol, don't feel bad for me because the same is true for you too!
One of my friends that is "different smart" is Dr. Rick August. Rick has a PHD in traffic safety: his dissertation was on the transition from horse and buggy to automobiles in Australia. OK, I realize at first thought some of you may be thinking "Traffic Nerd Alert" but that's where the whole "there's lots to be smart about" thing kicks in. Over the years Rick and I have been working on his YouTube channel and business of teaching people to drive and there have been many times he has blown me away with his intelligence and insight into all things driver training. Which brings me to today's video.
Rick asked me to share a video with you and a link to a petition (http://chng.it/gsD9JvbQ) because, due to COVID-19, if some governments don't change their approach to licensing new drivers some of our kids and grandkids, not to mention other adults looking to survive economically by getting driving jobs, are going to have to wait years to be tested. I know the topic is a bit different for a Sunday, but when a friend wakes you up late at night to loan you bread because he has had company arrive, you get up and give him bread! BTW, my friend is living in quite a bit of pain these days and waiting for back surgery to correct it. If you are a person who prays, please pray for him.
This week, Rev. James Snyder gets caught practicing poor listening and tries to get out of it by speaking to his wife before thinking. You can read "My Thoughts Are Worth More Than a Penny" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/my-thoughts-are-worth-more-than-a-penny
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and eggs."
The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?"
The girl said, "I don't know. I don't eat cats."
In the rush to return to normal, use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to.
A fly was buzzing along one morning when he saw a lawn mower someone had left out in their front yard. He flew over and sat on the handle, watching the children going down the sidewalk on their way to school.
One little boy tripped on a crack and fell, spilling his lunch on the sidewalk. He picked himself up, put his lunch back in the bag and went on. But he missed a piece of bologna. The fly had not eaten that morning and he sure was hungry. So he flew down and started eating the bologna. In fact he ate so much that he could not fly, so he waddled across the sidewalk, across the lawn, up the wheel of the lawn mower, up the handle, and sat there resting and watching the children.
There was still some bologna laying there on the sidewalk. He was really stuffed, but that baloney sure did look good.
Finally temptation got the best of him and he jumped off the handle of the lawn mower to fly over to the baloney. But alas he was too full to fly and he went splat!!, killing him instantly.
The moral of the story: Don't fly off the handle when you are full of baloney.
"Our calling ... isn't to follow our hearts. Our calling is to have our hearts informed by, directed by, the clear and plain teaching of the Word of God."
- R. C. Sproul Jr.
During the days of the British Raj, a missionary went among the Indians and tried to tell them about Christianity. He explained how Heaven would belong to the faithful.
One Indian said, "Your Heaven can't be all that good."
The missionary explained again why it would indeed be wonderful.
The Indian replied, "Then why haven't the British taken it over?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
In the rush to return to normal, use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
