While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband.
When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened.
Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it.
Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings."
"I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist.
Liz couldn't help blurting out, "Maybe you should try Alka-Seltzer."
A policeman stops a speeding car and tells the woman driver; "When I saw you driving down the road, I thought to myself, 'sixty-five at least.'"
The woman replied: "I don't think that is quite fair. I think this hat makes me look older."
I'm gonna work on being less condescending. (Condescending means to talk down to people.)
Sunday greetings everyone!
One of the pastors that Cybersalt works with overseas emailed the other day, letting me know his wife and their youngest of 3 children have the flu. While he did not say it was COVID-19, she does work as a nurse in a hospital and it is most likely the pandemic has reached their home. Their country is currently #12 in the world for total cases and in 2019 was #5 in persecuting Christians. In fact, in many parts of their country Christian nurses and doctors are being used on the front lines because other staff who belong to the oppressive national religion do not want to catch COVID-19.
As the West continues to struggle with the pandemic, let's also remember to pray for the vulnerable and persecuted people of the world for whom much misery has been added to their already hard lives..
This Sunday's video is a performance of "Baba Yetu" (Our Father). This song has a very interesting history you can read a: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baba_Yetu
Rev. James Snyder recently experienced a week where it seemed like everything was "shot to pieces." You can read "It Was A Week That Was Shot To Pieces" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/it-was-a-week-that-was-shot-to-pieces
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior to going overseas. One lad, having received his whole series of injections, asked for a glass of water.
"What's the matter, Mate?" asked the sick bay attendant. "Do you feel light-headed?"
"No, just checking to see if I'm still watertight."
Common sense is not a gift, it's a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn't have it.
"I have 200 cows."
"Yesterday, you said you had 199 cows."
"That was before I rounded them up."
- Richard Lederer and James Ertner
"When obedience to God contradicts what I think will give me pleasure, let me ask myself if I love Him."
- Elisabeth Elliot
A new Pastor in a small Oklahoma town spent the first four days making personal visits to each of the members, inviting them to come to his first services.
The following Sabbath the church was all but empty.
Accordingly, the Pastor placed a notice in the local newspapers, stating that, because the church was dead, it was everyone's duty to give it a decent Christian burial.
The funeral would be held the following Sabbath afternoon, the notice said.
Morbidly curious, a large crowd turned out for the "funeral." In front of the pulpit, they saw a closed coffin, smothered in flowers. After the Pastor delivered the eulogy, he opened the coffin and invited his congregation to come forward and pay their final respects to their dead church.
Filled with curiosity as to what would represent the corpse of a "dead church," all the people eagerly lined up to look in the coffin. Each "mourner" peeped into the coffin then quickly turned away with a guilty, sheepish look.
In the coffin, tilted at just the right angle was a large mirror.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
