At a posh Manhattan dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling the guests about this home country and himself.
As he concluded, he said, "And I have a charming and understanding wife but, alas, no children."
Not too long ago, with all the emphasis on one's physical fitness, a new organization sprang up called "Athletics Anonymous."
When you get the urge to play golf, tennis, go power-walking or bicycle riding (or anything else involving a type of physical activity), they send someone over to watch TV with you until the urge passes.
The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.
"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, there are three doctors there already!"
Paranoia has reached absurd stages ... I sneezed in front of my laptop and the anti-virus started a scan on its own.
Issue #4565
Sunday greetings everyone!
Do you miss professional sports? I don't miss them very much, but just the same I have started watching a new one during this pandemic: marble racing.
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, just give it a try! Watch the time trials, pick a favorite team, and see if you end up cheering!
Lol, not surprisingly, I'm cheering for the O'Rangers.
This week, Rev. James Snyder is left alone to complete his "honey-do" list, but decides to do something else. You can read "There’s Something About A Lazy Summer Afternoon" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/there-s-something-about-a-lazy-summer-afternoon
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch. She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her concern. They advised Becky to boil the sauce again.
That night, the phone rang during dinner, and a guest volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as the guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out."
The dumbest thing I've ever purchased was a 2020 planner!
“A letter carrier career is a mail dominated profession.”
"Some people could be given an entire field of roses, and only see the thorns in it. Others could be given a single weed and only see the wildflower in it. Perception is a key component to gratitude. And gratitude is a key component to joy."
- Amy Weatherly
Today's Illustration
It's funny to think these were ever laws that needed to be enforced.
- In Michigan, a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
- In New York, it is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
- In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle in Connecticut, it must bounce.
- To keep any of the incarcerated beasts from picking up bad habits, the town of Manville, NJ decreed that it is illegal to feed whiskey or offer cigarettes to animals at the local zoo.
- If you sell hollow logs in Tennessee, you are breaking the law.
- Compulsive gamblers stay out of Richmond, VA: it is even illegal to flip a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for the coffee.
- Don't bother the butterflies in Pacific Grove, CA unless you have an extra $500 for the offense.
- The same is true for bullfrogs and cottontails in Hayden, AZ where disturbing them in the city limits is against the law.
- Have it your way, but don't share it in OK. This state forbids a person from taking a bite out of another person's hamburger.
- Need a radio on Sunday? In Spokane, WA, you can buy one on the Sabbath, but forget about purchasing a television!
- In the state of New York, you need a license to use a clothesline outdoors.
- If any retirees from the circus are thinking about settling down and farming in NC, they are forewarned right here and now that it is against the law in this state to use elephants to plow cotton fields!
- It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.
- In Calgary there is a by-law that is still on the books that requires businesses within the city to provide rails for tying up horses.
- In England it is illegal to sell most goods on a Sunday, (this law is mostly ignored). It is however legal to sell a carrot. It is also legal to sell it at any price and to give free gifts with it, such as anything else one might want to buy on a Sunday!
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
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We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
