Putin dies and goes to hell.
After a while he get's a one day pass for good behaviour, so he goes to Moscow and walks into a bar, orders a drink and asks the bartender,
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner."
No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"
"Pretty good," replied the veteran, "especially since this was a bus stop."
What do you get if you cross a doctor with a bloodhound?
A medical scenter.
~ (Lederer & Ertner)
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday! OK, truth be told, I just realized that Sunday's mailing did not go out so I am reviving it for today!
I've been to my Egyptian doctor (chiropractor) three times this past week to get a wayward rib taken care of. It has made me think of Adam's rib experience which resulted in him being blessed with a wife in order to correct the one thing that was not good in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:18.) But I have already been blessed with a wife, so my side ordeal will not end with such a huge net gain!
Speaking of ordeals, there is something else that has been bothering me this week: this whole deal with seizing the yachts of Russian Oligarchs. Let me first say I unequivocally support the seizing of those (and other) assets to either put pressure on Putin to end the war in Ukraine or to incentivize someone to gift him some poisoned underwear from the same store he got the pair he gave to Alexey Navalny.
I'm also all for selling these vessels and giving the proceeds towards caring for Ukrainians and rebuilding their country. What sticks in my craw is the question, "Who should even own a billion dollar yacht in this world of need anyway?" Instead of putting more money into these decadent ships, I think they should be sunk as artificial reefs and anyone who could have afforded to buy them should give that money (which they obviously have far too much of) to fixing some of the problems facing mankind. We could call it the "Cure for Cancer Reef!"
I do feel somewhat hypocritical suggesting the above because I myself live a comfortable life that could be less comfortable in the service of those who have less than me. Such is also the case with many of you reading this. But what galls me about the whole yacht thing is what galled me weeks ago when I lined up the video for today's video share: the absolute indifference of the mega rich to the realities of the lives of everyday people.
It reminds me of Mr. Potter's chastisement of Harry Baily's helping of the poor in the movie It's a Wonderful Life. Potter, by far the richest man in town, saw charity to others as a way of creating "a discontented, lazy rabble instead of a thrifty working class." But as Bailey pointed out, those same people "do most of the working and paying and living and dying" in the community and was it "too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath?"
You will never look at the ultra rich, nor a big city skyline, the same way after watching "How I faked being a billionaire so you could see NYC’s best views."
Here is the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner."
No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"
"Pretty good," replied the veteran, "especially since this was a bus stop."
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
What do you get if you cross a doctor with a bloodhound?
A medical scenter.
~ (Lederer & Ertner)
To lengthen your life, shorten your meals.
- Proverb
In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous-haired model. I showed the stylist the trendy new cut I wanted and settled into the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on my thin, graying hair.
I was delighted by his cheerful attitude until I recognized the melody. It was the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Since birth, I have been infected with a Laughter-Virus. I’m not sure which side of the family it came from, or it could’ve come from both sides. But the least little thing will make me laugh. Sometimes I have a hard time stopping laughing. I have yet to find a mask big enough to cover my face while I’m laughing.
If I am infectious with my laughter, so be it. It is one thing I can give to the people around me.
I have been a laughter connoisseur for a very long time. The least little thing will make me break out in laughter. Sometimes at the most inappropriate time and place. But, what can I do? Laughter is laughter.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
