When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her ability to answer the questions asked of prospective jurors.
As a young attorney, I had filled her in on what to expect.
Asked about the occupations of family members, Mom answered, "My son is a lawyer."
It rained so hard here last night our whole town flooded.
The entire city was taken by storm.
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
I have a question for you that probably sounds like something your mother once asked you, "If 244 people jumped off a bridge would you jump too?" In today's video share you will see that at least one person would.
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her ability to answer the questions asked of prospective jurors.
As a young attorney, I had filled her in on what to expect.
Asked about the occupations of family members, Mom answered, "My son is a lawyer."
As a follow-up, she was asked if she had ever used the services of an attorney.
"Only to mow my lawn."
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
It rained so hard here last night our whole town flooded.
The entire city was taken by storm.
"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."
- Will Ferrell
Wanting to be married, a couple came to the county courthouse in Virginia where I work. But they accidentally walked up to the offices where hunting licenses are sold.
"We're from out of state," said the prospective groom. "Can we get a license?"
The clerk replied, "No, but I can give you a three-day permit."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Living in the country, our family did not have a television in our home. Unfortunately, most people in our neighborhood did not have a television. That was just normal.
Somehow we managed to entertain ourselves without TV, and of course, we did not have the Internet then. How we got along without Facebook and cell phones is more than I can remember.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings, everyone!
Thanks to Cybersaltine, Linda F, for catching that the student in the item "Gullibiity" started out as a she and ended up as a he. I wasn't sure which to correct so I Googled some of the facts in the piece and found it was freshman Nathan Zohner, a 14-year-old student at Eagle Rock Junior High School. The item in question has been updated!
I showed today's video share to Grandma Cybersalt, who is a gifted piano player and teacher, and she exclaimed, "Crazy!" I asked, "Only young people can do that, right?" She agreed.
Click here to watch today's video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Collards is green
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.
You have som'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.
Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yo're too special,
you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!
I'm gonna spend Valentine's Day with my ex... Box 360.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Archaeologists will date any old thing.
"We wrong those near us in being independent of them. God himself would not be happy without his Son. We ought to lean on each other, giving and receiving - not as weaklings, but as lovers. Love is strength as well as need."
- George MacDonald, The Landlady's Master (aka: The Elect Lady)
Wanting to be married, a couple came to the county courthouse in Virginia where I work. But they accidentally walked up to the offices where hunting licenses are sold.
"We're from out of state," said the prospective groom. "Can we get a license?"
The clerk replied, "No, but I can give you a three-day permit."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
I will be the first to confess that I love my coffee, especially in the morning. When anybody asks how much coffee is enough, I usually say, “Just one more cup.”
My day cannot get started until I’ve had a sufficient amount of coffee. If I don’t have enough coffee when I meet somebody, they will look at me and say, “Have you had your coffee today?”
I respond by saying, “Well, not enough.”
I haven’t always been a fan of coffee. If I am obsessed with coffee, I will have to blame The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage for this. She is the one that introduced me to coffee, and here I am.
When I was young, I hated the coffee my parents had. I tried tasting it a couple of times, and it really was awful, almost like mud. How they were able to drink that coffee is beyond me.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
