10. You absolutely love the movie, "The Ten Commandments."
9. You look really, really good in yellow.
8. You just went on a low cholesterol diet and didn't want to waste all those eggs in the fridge.
7. You figure any Holiday that starts with a "Good Friday" can't be all bad.
Because I was processing my first accident report at the transportation company where I worked, I was being particularly attentive. The driver had hit a deer on the highway, and the result was a severely damaged hood and fender.
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
A big shoutout to Cybersaltine, Rev. B Wannall who, after Sunday's mailing, asked me, "What? Nothing about Palm Sunday?" Funny story: I did not realize it was Palm Sunday last Sunday until I was standing in church after the first song had been sung and our children's pastor called the kids forward to get palm branches to wave as we sang "Hosanna!"
I had to chuckle because I would never have imagined the day would come when anything like that would happen, but I guess retiring from pastoring local churches will do that. BTW, pray for Rev. Wannall - he told me he didn't realize it was Holy Week because he had just gotten out of the hospital after 9 weeks!
Today's video share pokes some good fun at the theory the Disciples faked Jesus' resurrection by stealing his body.
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double clicking icons put your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash.
If the label on your cable on the gable at your house
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom!
The IRS! They're like the Mafia - they can take anything they want!
- Jerry Seinfeld
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."
- Fred Allen
"The strength of patience hangs on our capacity to believe that God is up to something good for us in all our delays and detours."
- John Piper, Battling Unbelief: Defeating Sin with Superior Pleasure
When I was about 13 and my brother 10, our father promised to take us to the circus. But then at lunchtime there was a phone call--some urgent business that required his attention downtown--and we braced ourselves for disappointment. But then we heard him say, "No, I won't be able to come down. It's going to have to wait."
He came back to the table and mother smiled, "The circus keeps coming back, you know."
"I know," he said, "but childhood doesn't."
After all these years I remember that moment. And I knew from the sudden glow of warmth that no kindness is ever really wasted or completely lost. Because family matters.
~Arthur Gordon
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
I have never thought too much about my age. After all, you cannot choose when you will be born. Age is just a matter of thinking, and thinking is not my strong suit.
I never really thought about being old. I’m not exactly sure what the real definition of old is.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
The IRS! They're like the Mafia - they can take anything they want!
- Jerry Seinfeld
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double clicking icons put your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
