Entertainment

It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The teacher asked the children their names one at a time, and for each to spell their name out loud. When she came to a young boy and asked his name, the boy replied, "Ravashanka Vankatarataam Bannerjee" he replied.

"How do you spell that? asked the teacher.

"My mother helps me" said the little boy.

The Jewish Chronicle had heard that Benny was coming up to his 110th birthday so they sent one of their reporters to interview him.

"How do you account for your longevity?" asked the reporter.

"You could say that I am a health nut," Benny answered. "I have never smoked or drunk alcohol, I am always in bed by ten o'clock, I've been going to Israeli folk dance classes since I was a teenager and I've always walked three miles a day, even in rain or snow."

"But," said the reporter, "my uncle Saul followed exactly the same routine and he died when he was 75. So how come it didn't work for him?"

"All I can say," replied Benny "is that he didn't keep it up long enough."

*PULLED OVER*

"Hey you!  Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop.

The lady complied, and the judge next day fined her twenty-five dollars.
She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examined her checkbook, should learn of the incident.  Then inspiration struck and she marked the check stub, "One pullover, $25."

*WHY ME?*

My friend Walt was driving a rig in a long line of tractor-trailers when a police officer pulled him over for speeding.  Astounded that he alone was caught, he asked, "Out of all these trucks that were going just as fast as I was, why did you pull me over?"

"Have you ever gone fishing?" the officer asked.

"Yes," Walt replied.

"Well, have you ever caught all the fish in the pond?"

*SPEEDING*

The police have stopped my husband so many times for speeding, they Decided to just give him a season ticket.

*TWO SPEED CORVETTE*

Nick lives in a subdivision that branches off the main highway.  He drives a Corvette, and thinks the only two speeds are "STOP" and "FULL SPEED."

One day, when he was late for work, he comes tearing out the road from his house, tops the little hill before getting to the main road, and sees a police car blocking the road.  He slams on the brakes and comes to A screeching halt about 6 inches from the police car.  The policeman, who Had often seen him driving fast, walked up and said, "Mister, I've been Waiting for you all morning..."

Nick replied "Well gosh, I got here as fast as I could!"