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Entertainment

The Woodcutter

Details
Published: 07 April 2005

This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard.  He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws.  The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model.  This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day."

So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees.  After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit.  He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw.  "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?" the man asks himself.  "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day," the man tells himself.  So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords.

The man is convinced this is a bad saw.  "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem.  I will take this saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself.

The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem.  The dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case.  The dealer says, "Hmm, it looks fine."

Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, "What's that noise?

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Warning Labels

Details
Published: 07 April 2005

Warning Labels!

7 Up:

Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.

Vicks Nyquil Gel Caps:

Use of this product in conjunction with alcohol or sedatives may cause drowsiness.

Jonsreds Chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.

Windex:

Do not spray in eyes.

McDonald's Coffee:

Warning - Contents may be hot.

Bayer Aspirin:

Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

Liquid Plummer:

Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Miller Lite:

Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems.

Komatsu Floodlight:

This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark.

Tonyang Lighting Screwdriver:

Use 3 pieces of batteries on 4.

Moet White Star Champagne:

Warning: Remove label before placing in microwave.

Energizer AAA 4 Pack:

If swallowed, promptly see doctor.

Boot's Children’s Cough Medicine:

Do not drive a car or run machinery.

Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Mr. Bubbles:

Keep out of reach of children.

Mark and Spencer's Bread Pudding

Product will be hot after heating.

Craftsman Push Mower

Warning: Do not attempt to remove blade while lawnmower is running or plugged into an outlet.

Sainsbury Peanuts (Read Comments)

Warning: This product contains nuts.

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Einstein At A Party

Details
Published: 06 April 2005

Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers "241."

"That is wonderful!," says Albert.  "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe.  We will have much to discuss!"

Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" To which the lady answers, "144."

"That is great!," responds Albert.  "We can discuss politics and current affairs.  We will have much to discuss!"

Albert goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "51."

Albert responds, "How 'bout them Cowboys?"

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

How High Is It?

Details
Published: 06 April 2005

An Engineering Student, a Physics Student, and a Mathematics student were each given $150 dollars and were told to use that money to find out exactly how tall a particular hotel was.

All three ran off, extremely keen on how to do this. The physics student went out, purchased some stopwatches, a number of ball bearings, a calculator, and some friends. He had them all time the drop of ball bearings from the roof, and he then figured out the height from the time it took for the bearings to accelerate from rest until they impacted with the sidewalk.

The math student waited until the sun was going down, then she took out her protractor, plumb line, measuring tape, and scratch pad, measured the length of the shadow, found the angle the buildings roof made from the ground, and used trigonometry to figure out the height of the building.

Of course, with all that was involved in getting this experiment done, they were up plenty late studying for other courses' exams. These two students bumped into the engineering student the next day, who looked quite refreshed. When asked what he did to find the height of the building he replied: "Well, I walked up to the bell hop, gave him 10 bucks, asked him how tall the hotel was, and went inside for supper!"

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Grasshopper in Bar

Details
Published: 05 April 2005

A grasshopper goes into a bar and hops on to a barstool to order a drink.  The bartender says "You know, we have a drink named after you?

The grasshopper replies, "Really!  You have a drink named Eddie?"

Last Updated: 13 July 2011
  1. Paper View
  2. Just A Kiss Per Yard
  3. Religious Lady On Plane
  4. 18 Things That Never Happened On Star Trek

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3615

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4353
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  13

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4353

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1923

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4353

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  1978

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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