Entertainment

We've all flubbed things we were trying to say - here are some flubs attributed to Al Gore.

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." -- Al Gore, US Vice-President

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Al Gore

"Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child." -- Vice President Al Gore

"Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts." -- Vice President Al Gore

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." -- Vice President Al Gore, 8/11/94

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." -- Vice President Al Gore

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/15/95

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change." -- Vice President Al Gore, 5/22/98

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.?" -- Vice President Al Gore, 12/6/93

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." -- Vice President Al Gore, 11/30/96

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future." -- Vice President Al Gore

"The future will be better tomorrow." -- Vice President Al Gore

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/21/97

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history." -- Vice President Al Gore

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." -- Vice President Al Gore to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe." - Vice President Al Gore

"Public speaking is very easy." -- Vice President Al Gore to reporters in 10/95

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat." -- Vice President Al Gore

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." -- Vice President Al Gore

"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame. -- Al Gore

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it." -- Vice President Al Gore, 5/20/996

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/22/97

"For NASA, space is still a high priority." -- Vice President Al Gore,
9/5/93

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/18/95

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Al Gore may or may not make." --Vice President Al Gore

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made." --Vice President Al Gore

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Vice President Al Gore

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system." -- Vice President Al Gore

The service area was located on a main highway leading to the beach. The pump attendant was accustomed to seeing tired and sunburned occupants in the cars that pulled in to tank up. When a rusty old van containing a very tired looking couple and six screaming children pulled into his station, the attendant tried small talk to cheer the occupants.

"Hope you had a good day at the beach! Nice looking kids there. Are they all yours or is this a picnic?"

Wearily, the driver replied, "Yes they are all mine and it's NO picnic!"

1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

3. Someday, we?ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

4. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

5. Ahhh ... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

6. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

7. How about never? Is never good for you?

8. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

9. I don't know what your problem is, but I?ll bet it's hard to pronounce.

10. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

11. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!

12. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

13. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

14. No, my powers can only be used for good.

15. You sound reasonable ... time to up my medication.

16. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

17. I?ll try being nicer if you?ll try being smarter.

18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

20. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

21. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

The minister's car wouldn't start and he called the garage to come and tow it in for repair. When the truck driver appeared at his house to get the car, the minister said, "I hope you'll go easy on me. You know, I'm only a poor preacher."

"I know," said the tow truck driver, "I've heard you preach!"

1.  Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop

2.  Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge

3.  Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding

4.  Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead

5.  Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?: You CAN Tell the Difference!

6.  Accepting Loss I: If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away

7.  Accepting Loss II: If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back

8.  Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!

9.  Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In

10.  Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In

11.  Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink

12.  Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!

13.  Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper!

14.  Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to the Goodwill

15.  Retro?  Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts

16.  Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware: No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves

17.  Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!

18.  Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means

19.  Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut

20.  Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category

21.  Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote

22.  "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh

23.  Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet

24.  Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed

25.  "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It!

26.  The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty

27.  Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them

28.  Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime

29.  Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It

  1. Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support
  2. Goober Puzzle
  3. Parking Concern
  4. First Sermon

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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  13

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

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When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1953

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2007

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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