Linda and Jill were chatting over coffee.
Said Linda, "I've been experiencing a strange and painful side effect from coffee. I'm fine when I drink it black, but if I use cream, or sugar, or both, I get a stabbing pain in one eye."
Linda took a sip of her coffee. "Oww!" she cried. "There it goes again!"
Said Jill, "Take the spoon out of the cup."
Stupid Inventions:
- Black Highlighter
- Braille Driver's Manual
- Clear Correction Fluid
- Fake Rhinestones
- Inflatable Dart Board
- Mesh Umbrella
- Motorcycle Air Conditioner
- Sugar Coated Toothpaste
- Super-glue Post-it Notes
A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-year-old teacher because her hand signals were confusing.
"First you put your hand up, like you're turning right, then you waved your hand up and down, then you turned left," said the officer.
"I decided not to turn right," she explains.
"Then why the up and down?" asks the officer.
"Officer," she sniffs, "I was erasing!"
Truth About Children:
- A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.
- A child will not spill on a dirty floor.
- A young child is a noise with dirt on it.
- A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.
- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
- Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home.
- Celibacy is not hereditary.
- Familiarity breeds children.
- For adult education, nothing beats children.
- Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
- Having children will turn you into your parents.
- If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
- Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.
- It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.
- It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.
- Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
- Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
- You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have.
- Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.
- The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
- There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it
- Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.
- There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
- The best thing to spend on your children is time.
As a traffic safety consultant, I often gave talks to organizations on accident prevention. One night after I spoke to a PTA group, the program chairperson thanked me profusely and gave me a check for fifty dollars.
"Giving these presentations is part of my job," I said. "Could I donate the money to one of your causes?"
"That would be wonderful," she gushed. "We have just the program that could use it. We're trying to raise money so we can afford better speakers."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
