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Entertainment

You Know It's Time To Turn Your Computer Off When

Details
Published: 14 March 2005

You know it's time to turn your computer off and read a book when .......

1. A friend calls and says "How are you? Your phones have been busy-for a year!!!!!"
2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.
3. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."
4. You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU'VE GOT MAIL.
5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
6. You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs.
7. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car.
8. Tech support calls YOU for help.
9. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."
10. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
11. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it. (never thought of that.....BUT)
12. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
13. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
14. You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.
15. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.
16. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.
17. You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for a while.
18. "Where did the time go??"
19. You sit on AOL for 6 hours waiting for that certain special person to sign on.
20. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
21. .....You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......
22. You've gone to an unstaffed AOL room to give tech support.
23. You think faster than the computer.
24. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and **kisses**.
25. Being called a "newbie" is a major insult to you.
26. You're on the phone and say BRB.
27. Your teacher, spouse, or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.
28. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this.... "BRB.  Leave your S/N and I^ll TTYL ASAP".
29. You need to be pried from your computer by the Jaws-of-life.
30. The same jokes you sent to one friend come back in five minutes from a mutual friend that you forgot to put on distribution.

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Cow Legs

Details
Published: 14 March 2005

Did you hear of the little boy who came home from kindergarten with a blue ribbon. When his mommy asked him "What is the blue ribbon for?" he proudly announced, "I won!"

When pressed for details he simply said, "The teacher asked all of us to guess how many legs a cow has. When my turn came, I guessed FIVE."

"Five???" his mother gasped, "but a cow only has FOUR legs."

"I won because my guess was the closest."

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Pessimistic Friend

Details
Published: 13 March 2005

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog.  His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.

Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.

As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by.  They fired and a duck fell.  The dog responded and jumped into the water.  The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet.  The friend saw everything but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?".

"I sure did," responded his friend, "He can't swim".

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Party Advice

Details
Published: 13 March 2005

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Truck-Stop Harassment

Details
Published: 12 March 2005

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in.  The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter.  The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's coffee and then he took a seat at the counter.  The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly paid his bill and left the diner.  One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"

The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either.  He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."

Last Updated: 13 July 2011
  1. Horse Talk
  2. A Goober Wins
  3. Military Time
  4. Canadian University Light-Bulb Jokes

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3615

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4353
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  13

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4353

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1923

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4353

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  1978

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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