A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Department and write on the envelope, "Now you have everything including me."
A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck.
"Where's Henry?"
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!"
"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry."
The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for computer consultants on campus. The predominant questions this term pertain to "getting into" E-mail and how to access the "Information Highway."
An obviously distraught student came into the consulting office yesterday complaining that his E-mail wasn't working; his attempts to get tickets for an on-campus concert kept resulting in returned mail.
He showed me the mail address he was attempting to reach. I asked him where he obtained such an unusual mail address.
He replied, "The sign told me, 'begins@7:30 P.M.'"
Our family was leaving on a two week vacation and so my preparations took me into the bank to conduct my business rather than the drive-thru which with two children I almost exclusively use.
I was sitting at the customer service desk waiting for the machine that controls my very existence to accept the changed PIN number for my ATM card.
In an attempt to make conversation the teller graciously commented on how handsome my two boys were, and were we going to try for a girl? I offered my usual response that no, two was a good number, and that we were done.
My five year old offered his view then with "Besides, my mom has her boobs tied, and can't have any more."
I quickly left the bank while the teller's eyes welled with tears of suppressed laughter until the door had shut on my last visit to the bank with my two children. - Kathy Fisher
* A lot of life insurance policies cost a great deal of money to maintain. But look on the bright side -- when you die, you'll be rich !
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* Who says that life insurance agents don't have feelings. After I had my heart bypass operation, my agent sent cards and called daily to check on my recovery.
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* An agent for a large insurance company in Ontario handed a life-insurance check to a widow, in full payment for her late husband's policy. He then advised her to take out a policy of her own.
"Why I do believe I will." she replied enthusiastically.
"My husband had such good luck with his."
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* The woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employees' pay.
She said, "My last employer had full health coverage, as well as five years salary for life insurance and a month's sick leave. AND they paid the full premiums."
"I can't help but asking madam why you would leave a job with such benefits." the interviewer replied.
The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, "The company went bankrupt."
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* I was able to obtain some real cheap fire-theft insurance for our home. Turns out however they only pay off if we're robbed during a fire.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
