Entertainment

My husband, Cal, grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing patience shortly after midnight, he knocked sharply on her door. Her boyfriend immediately opened it and asked if something was wrong.

"I have to ask you to move your car," Cal told him.

"Oh, sure. Is it in someone's way?"

"No," Cal replied, "it's at the wrong address."

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in Peace".

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulations on your new location'"

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "Seniors' Special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.

"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."

"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.

"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked incredulously. "Then I'll take the Special."

"How do you want your eggs?"

"Raw and in the shell!" my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home.

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.

"Don't you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked.  The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one.

"Are you sure?", the friend persisted.  "What happens if you lose that ball?"

The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball.  I won't lose it so I don't need another one."

Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?"

"That's okay," he replied, "this special golf ball floats.
I'll be able to retrieve it."

"Well what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?"

The other guy replied, "That's okay too.  You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon.  I'll be able to get it back -- no problem."

Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay.  Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap.  What are you going to do then?"

"No problem," says the other guy, "you see, this ball is florescent.  I'll be able to see it in the dark."

Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"

The other guy replies, "I found it."