Entertainment

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. 

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient.

"Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager."

One day there was a guy who was driving home from work when his jeep broke down. He looked down the road and saw a pink house and decided that he would see if he could stay there for the night.

He walked up to the house and rang the pink door bell and a pink lady opened up the pink door. He asked her if he could spend the night and she said, "OK."  

So she led him down a pink hallway, up a pink staircase, down another pink hallway and into a pink guest bedroom. She said that he could stay there.

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

I treated myself to a new tool this week. Always a fun thing to do — and after the couple of weeks I’ve had with this arm injury, it felt extra deserved. Rehab starts Tuesday, and I’m pleased with the small daily improvements I’ve been making. Here’s hoping the rehab kicks things into a higher gear.

The tool? A roofer’s torch. No, I don’t have any plans to do any roofing. We have a large gravel turnaround in front of our house and a gravel parking area beside it — and the little weeds in those gravel beds keep on coming. I figured a torch would beat chemicals and beat pulling them out (only to watch them grow right back). And it works.

Now, Grandma Cybersalt is a bit nervous I’m going to burn the property down. After my first couple of passes with it… I had to admit she might have a point. Given my recent track record of hurting myself (not intentionally, of course), me telling her I’m being careful doesn’t seem to put her 100% at rest. Hopefully my next update on this tool is just that the gravel is weed-free.

Today’s video share is for everyone old enough to remember the original Davey and Goliath — that claymation Sunday-school staple from the 1960s. Turns out there are some surprisingly weird stories from behind the scenes nobody told us back when we were watching.

Click Here To Watch

Enjoy the rest of today’s Digest.

~ Pastor Tim

Young Josh was brought to Dr Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days. Dr Gill offered him all the goodies he could think of. No luck. He tried a little scolding. It didn't work. A little pleading, to no avail.

Finally he sat down, faced the boy, looked him in the eye. He said "Look young man, if you can be stubborn, so can I. You're not going anywhere till you eat something. You can have whatever you want, but only after you have eaten will you leave."

Josh just sat and glared for some time, then said, "Ok. I'll eat but I have some conditions. First, I'll have exactly what I want and exactly how I want it and second you'll share with me."

Dr Gill was ok with this. He asked the child what he'd like.

"Worms!" said Josh.

Dr Gill was horrified but didn't want to back out. So, he ordered a plate of worms to be brought in.

"Not that many, just one," yelled Josh as he saw the plate.

So, all but one worm was removed.

Josh then demanded that the single worm be cut into two and then for Dr Gill eat half.

Dr Gill went through the worst ordeal of his life, and after finishing, barely managing to keep his cool said, "Ok, now eat!"

Josh sobbed as he refused. "No way! You ate my half!"

Remember when we used to jump out of the swing mid-air ... I miss those knees.

Priest: You may now read the vows you have prepared.

Me: I think I misunderstood the assignment.

Bride: Just read what you have, Honey.

Me: Okay. [deep breath]. A E I O U

"The people that make a durable difference in the world are not the people who have mastered many things, but who have been mastered by one great thing."

- John Piper

As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray."

From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

Bouncing back from weeks of being sick is not as easy as it used to be when I was younger. I guess that's the cost of getting old.

Over the last six weeks, I've had this bug thingamajig going around. I had it for two weeks, and then it gradually went away.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Priest: You may now read the vows you have prepared.

Me: I think I misunderstood the assignment.

Bride: Just read what you have, Honey.

Me: Okay. [deep breath]. A E I O U