Entertainment

Today my son asked, "Can I have a book mark?"

I burst into tears.

Eleven years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Sometimes tough parenting requires that you tell your kids that they need to clean their rooms before they can have a donut, while you sit eating donuts yelling, "Hurry, they are almost gone!"

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

Yesterday, once again, Grammar Cybersalt had me up the ladder — and I went willingly, "saws all" in hand — as she pointed out branches in our fruit trees that she wanted trimmed. Usually I'm the one who wants to hack things back way more aggressively than she does, but this time the roles were reversed. I was a little nervous doing it, but I kept reminding myself that as long as we didn't cut the tree down entirely, we'd probably be just fine. Truth be told, Susan knows a lot more about pruning fruit trees than I do — and the proof of that will be in the harvest come end of summer!

Enjoy the rest of today's Digest. 

~ Pastor Tim 

"Can people predict the future with cards?" Jessica asked Danny.

"My mother can," Danny replied.

"Really?"

"Yes," Danny told her, "she takes one look at my report card and can tell me exactly what will happen when my Dad gets home."

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don't rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain due to al the indoor fins...

Ten Ways to Love

1. Listen without interrupting (Proverbs 18)
2. Speak without accusing. (James 1:19)
3. Give without sparing. (Proverbs 21:26)
4. Pray without ceasing. (Colossians 1:9)
5. Answer without arguing. (Proverbs 17:1)
6. Share without pretending. (Ephesians 4:15)
7. Enjoy without complaint. (Philippians 2:14)
8. Trust without wavering. (1 Corinthians 13:7)
9. Forgive without punishing. (Colossians 3:13)
10. Promise without forgetting. (Proverbs 13:12)

A colleague was invited to hold a speech in Japan. Aware of his reputation as a very good speaker, he was surprised that his audience did not react at all to any of his perfectly timed jokes and witticisms. In fact, the audience did not react to anything he said.

Somewhat put down, he went back to his seat and a Japanese gentleman appeared on the stage. This man had a terrific success! People laughed and applauded, and although the original speaker could not understand one bit of what was said, still he started to applaud, as the man evidently deserved praise for this perfect speech.

He was interrupted by the chairman of the conference, "No no, sir. You must not applaud."

Dumbfounded, he protested: "But why? This man is obviously a very good speaker."

"No sir, you must not applaud. He is translating your speech."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

People often say nobody is perfect. I've said that at least 100 times, but there are times when I am not quite sure that it applies to me.

There are some situations when I think I am perfect. I do not say it aloud because I do not want to step on anybody's toes. But I believe I am perfect, I keep believing it, and then reality hits like a pie in my face.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.