If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don't rhyme, and neither do read and lead.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
I easily tire of telemarketers calling me about my phone and internet accounts, but my supplier (Telus) actually contacted me last week with an offer that is saving me a good amount on my monthly bill with them. It will also make some things easier for my company. I am a big fan of easier and cheaper!
Todays' video share is about a paradox - and I am not talking about what rich people have on the lake at their cottages!
Click Here to watch.
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
"Hey Grandpa!, can you make a noise like a frog?"
"I think I can do that. Why?"
"'Cuz Dad says when you croak, we're going to Disneyworld"
Life is simpler when you're nonchalant; as soon as you start chalanting, it all goes sideways.
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
A trophy.
"Scientists have discovered that hearing opposing viewpoints causes no real harm."
- unknown
A successful businessman knew it was time to choose a successor to lead his business.
Instead of appointing one of his directors, or one of his children, he decided to call the company's young executives together. He said, "It is time for me to choose the next CEO. I have decided to select one of you."
The young executives were shocked, but the CEO continued. "I am going to give each of you a SEED today - a very special SEED. Plant the seed, water it, and one year from today bring what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will judge the plants you bring, and choose our next CEO."
One of the leaders, Jim, excitedly told his wife about the plan. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost, and he planted his seed. Every day, he watered it and watched to see if it had grown. Soon some of the other executives began talking about their seeds and the plants beginning to grow.
Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Weeks went by, but still nothing. Everyone else was talking about their plants, but Jim had no growth and felt like a failure. Six months passed, but still nothing in Jim's pot. He concluded he had killed his seed, but said nothing to his colleagues.
He continued watering and fertilizing the soil - he desperately wanted his seed to grow. When the year ended, the young executives were instructed to bring their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife he refused to take an empty pot to his workplace, but she urged him to be honest about what had happened. It was going to be Jim's most embarrassing moment, but he knew his wife was right.
Jim took his empty pot to the boardroom. When he arrived, the variety of plants the other executives had grown amazed him. They were beautiful - in many shapes and sizes. When Jim put his empty pot on the floor, many of his colleagues laughed. When the CEO arrived, Jim attempted to conceal himself in back.
"My, what wonderful plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!" Then the CEO noticed Jim. He invited Jim to the front - with his empty pot.
Jim was terrified. "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"
When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked what had happened to his seed. Jim explained despite his best efforts, nothing had grown.
The CEO turned to the group and asked everyone to sit down, except Jim. He then looked at Jim and announced, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim!"
Then the CEO explained: "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back in a year. But I gave you all boiled seeds; it was not possible for them to grow. All of you, except Jim, have brought healthy plants and flowers. When you found the seed would not grow, you substituted a different one. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"
It is said:
If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
If you plant faith, you will reap a harvest.
So be careful what you plant now: it will determine what you will reap later.
"The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out" (Proverbs 10:9).
"The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity" (Proverbs 11:3)
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
While travelling, I listened to a singer whose lyrics often touch my soul deeply, leading me to pause and pray. Steve Bell regularly writes his songs based on words from Scripture. On this day, the song Psalm 32 brought me to tears, and when I arrived at my destination, I was prompted to read the Psalm, which has the subheading Blessed Are the Forgiven. This Psalm encourages us to pause (Selah).
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
A trophy.
Life is simpler when you're nonchalant; as soon as you start chalanting, it all goes sideways.
When Peters learned that he was being fired after a career of incompetence he went to see the head of human resources.
"Since I've been with the firm for so long," he said, "I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation."
The human resources director agreed and said he'd have the letter the next day. The following morning, Peters found the letter on his desk.
It read, "Jonathan Peters worked for our company for eleven years. When he left us, we were very satisfied."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
