I'm never again donating money to anyone collecting for a marathon. They just take the money and run.
A neighbor suggested I put horse manure on my strawberries. Tried it. I'm going back to heavy cream!
1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.
2. You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favorite toy and made him/her cry.
3. You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
4. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
5. Your child throws up and you catch it.
6. Someone else's kid throws up at a party and you keep eating.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
It's been a very busy week here at Cybersalt World Headquarters. I've got a handful of projects on the go — some brand new software I'm getting ready to release, plus an opportunity that came up this week to purchase a couple of websites that'll be a nice enhancement to what I'm already doing. I'll share more once the deal is closed and everything's transferred over.
In the meantime I'm feeling really positive about all of it, and really thankful too. A couple of years ago Jesus set me free from a pattern of self-sabotage I'd carried around for far too long, and I am genuinely enjoying watching how well things are going now.
Today's video share is an excellent example of what goes up must... go round and round and round.
Click Here To Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else. Whereas the other guys would only catch three or four fish a day, Sam would come in from the lake with a boat full of fish. Stringer after stringer was packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe.
So the next morning, the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done.
Sam's approach was simple: He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it into the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up.
Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam, "You can't do this! I'll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!"
Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words: "Are you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?"
I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
I'm sorry to hear your uncle got run over by a boat in Venice ... My gondolences.
"You don't always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens."
- Mandy Hale
He humbled you causing you to hunger then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but from every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Deuteronomy 8:3
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.
After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.
The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.
Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with . . . and remember that time waits for no one.
So, stop waiting ...
...until your car or home is paid off.
...until you get a new car or home.
...until your kids leave the house.
...until you go back to school.
...until you finish school.
...until you lose 10 lbs.
...until you gain 10 lbs.
...until you get married.
...until you get a divorce.
...until you have kids.
...until you retire.
...until summer..
...until spring.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
There is a saying that goes something like this ... “Find a bible that is falling apart, and you’ll find a person who isn’t.”
A friend of mine shared that at her family’s Christmas gathering, her elderly father read the last chapter of Revelation to conclude his reading of the Bible in one year. He had been through a difficult year marked by health concerns and a major move, yet his testimony was gentle and strong. He told his wife, children, grandchildren, and first great-grandchild that he was relying on the truths of God’s Word.
This story encouraged and inspired me.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I'm sorry to hear your uncle got run over by a boat in Venice ... My gondolences.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
