Just been prescribed some anti-gloating cream. I can't wait to rub it in.
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.
"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.
"That is the talking clock", the young man replied.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
I'm happy to report that many parts of the right side of my body are starting to feel better after my epic wipeout last Friday! However, my right arm continues to hang around and cause shooting pain if I move it the wrong way.
I did see the doctor yesterday and he sent me off for x-rays — and I use the plural because by the time all the parts of my arm got x-rayed, it was somewhere between 7 and 9 different angles they wanted to look at! As I write this — and by "write" I mean "dictate to the microphone on my computer," because while I can use the mouse pretty well, I can only type with my left hand, so speaking is a lot easier — I'm still waiting to hear back the results.
A big shout out to Grandma Cybersalt, who has not only been taking great care of me, but also made such a sling for my right arm that the doctor specifically commented on it and told me to make sure to tell her she had done an awesome job!
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Concerned about fitness in my mid-40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor.
"I'm here to do my postnatal exercises," I told the instructor.
She gave me an appraising look. "How old is your baby?"
"Twenty-two," I replied.
Survival Tip: If zombies attack, go to Costco - there are cement walls, years worth of food, and tons of supplies. Plus, zombies can't get in without a membership.
What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
They are both Paris sites.
"We won't have a cure for diseases until we first have a cure for greed."
- Dr. Sachin Patel
The waitress comes over and recognizes the family seated at the table -- Mr. and Mrs. Smith and their little son, Jonathan. She says, "Jonathan, what would you like?"
He says, "I'll have a grilled cheese sandwich."
She says, "Jonathan, I'm sorry, we don't serve grilled cheese sandwiches."
He says, "You have a grill, don't you?"
She says, "Yes."
He says, "You have cheese, don't you?"
She says, "Yes."
He says, "You have bread, don't you?"
She says, "Yes."
He says, "Well, I'll have a grilled cheese sandwich."
This kid is four years old!
The waitress says, "Jonathan, I'll go see if the chef will fix you a grilled cheese sandwich."
She comes back in a little while and says, "Okay, Jonathan, the chef agreed to fix you a grilled cheese sandwich. I forgot to ask you, though, what you want to drink."
He says, "I'll have a milkshake."
She says, "Jonathan, your parents have probably already told you we don't serve milkshakes." (She was ready for him this time.) "Now, it is true we have milk. And it is true we have ice cream. But we don't have the syrup."
He says, "You have a car, don't you?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
Redeeming love, how can it be
That Christ would die upon a tree
Redeeming love that He would give
His life for us that we might live
He is the way, the truth, the life
He freely gave a sacrifice
No rights He held, no pain too great
To lead His own through Heaven’s gate
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
They are both Paris sites.
Concerned about fitness in my mid-40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor.
"I'm here to do my postnatal exercises," I told the instructor.
She gave me an appraising look. "How old is your baby?"
"Twenty-two," I replied.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
