Today my son asked, "Can I have a book mark?"
I burst into tears.
Eleven years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
Sometimes tough parenting requires that you tell your kids that they need to clean their rooms before they can have a donut, while you sit eating donuts yelling, "Hurry, they are almost gone!"
Sunday greetings everyone!
Yesterday, once again, Grammar Cybersalt had me up the ladder — and I went willingly, "saws all" in hand — as she pointed out branches in our fruit trees that she wanted trimmed. Usually I'm the one who wants to hack things back way more aggressively than she does, but this time the roles were reversed. I was a little nervous doing it, but I kept reminding myself that as long as we didn't cut the tree down entirely, we'd probably be just fine. Truth be told, Susan knows a lot more about pruning fruit trees than I do — and the proof of that will be in the harvest come end of summer!
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
"Can people predict the future with cards?" Jessica asked Danny.
"My mother can," Danny replied.
"Really?"
"Yes," Danny told her, "she takes one look at my report card and can tell me exactly what will happen when my Dad gets home."
If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don't rhyme, and neither do read and lead.
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain due to al the indoor fins...
Ten Ways to Love
A colleague was invited to hold a speech in Japan. Aware of his reputation as a very good speaker, he was surprised that his audience did not react at all to any of his perfectly timed jokes and witticisms. In fact, the audience did not react to anything he said.
Somewhat put down, he went back to his seat and a Japanese gentleman appeared on the stage. This man had a terrific success! People laughed and applauded, and although the original speaker could not understand one bit of what was said, still he started to applaud, as the man evidently deserved praise for this perfect speech.
He was interrupted by the chairman of the conference, "No no, sir. You must not applaud."
Dumbfounded, he protested: "But why? This man is obviously a very good speaker."
"No sir, you must not applaud. He is translating your speech."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
People often say nobody is perfect. I've said that at least 100 times, but there are times when I am not quite sure that it applies to me.
There are some situations when I think I am perfect. I do not say it aloud because I do not want to step on anybody's toes. But I believe I am perfect, I keep believing it, and then reality hits like a pie in my face.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain due to al the indoor fins...
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
