Me: What could possibly go wrong?"
Anxiety: "Sit down; I made a PowerPoint."
A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2026 Turbo Z123DX. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $3,000,000. He takes it out for a spin, and, while doing so, stops for a red light.
An elderly man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"
The young many replies, "A 2026 Turbo Z123DX. They cost $3,000,000."
"That's a lot of money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
I had my first physiotherapy session yesterday — the start of getting full mobility back in my right arm. It's improving day by day, and the exercises themselves aren't hard, I just have to do them often. I'm sticking with it because that's what you do, even though I'm not naturally a detailed, finicky kind of guy. As if I needed one more thing in that category in my life.
Today's video share is something that I think I need in my backyard. I don't have nearly enough potatoes to fill it, but I'm sure I could find a bunch of other stuff to stash in there — and I think it would be pretty cool.
Click Here To Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient.
"Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager."
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man.
Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success.
Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"
"Sam," the man moaned.
"Where ya from, Sam?"
With pain in his voice Sam replied, "The balcony."
"Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.
Farmers can tell if their milk cows are flatulent by simply sniffing the dairy air.
"It is never too ate to be what you might have been."
- George Elliot
The food in China can be a challenge for newcomers. One example is that chicken is often served "cleaver style," leaving the meat and bones chopped up together, making it difficult to eat.
Years ago, I went with a group of newcomers to a nice hotel to eat some hamburgers and normal Western food. One lady in our group, Marie, wanted to eat chicken without needing to spit out the bones, so she ordered "boneless chicken."
The waiter, whose English was quite good, could not imagine what Marie wanted. She was very insistent, saying, "I want boneless chicken. Chicken with no bones!"
After more confusion and more insisting, the waiter finally said he understood, wrote something down, and returned to the kitchen.
After about 15 minutes, our orders started coming out to the table.
Marie's food was the last to arrive, and when the poor waiter placed her dish in front of her, we all laughed out loud.
It was a plate of fried eggs.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
As I quietly sit in my preferred spot, spending time in God’s Word and enjoying sweet fellowship with Him, snowflakes gently fall.
I am overwhelmed with both praise and lament. Praise for the beautiful blessings that have unexpectedly filtered into my life, surprising me with joy, and lament for those who are going through deep waters, things that can fracture our faith.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Farmers can tell if their milk cows are flatulent by simply sniffing the dairy air.
"Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
