I fell for a Librarian
I asked her to be mine,
I said, "My love for you
is overdue!"
And she said, "Fine."
A New York magazine recently ran a contest.
The rules were to take any well-known phrase in a foreign language, change just a single letter, and then provide a definition for the new expression.
Here are some of the winners:
I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine!
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings, everyone!
I recently realized that instead of groaning when I bend over to pick up something off the floor, I now groan before I bend over to do the same thing. It's almost as if I am giving my body a courtesy warning to get ready for what my brain is about to tell it to do. Here's the thing: Grandma Cybersalt does not groan before or during picking something up. I suspect she doesn't even groan in her head, probably because she does stretching exercises. I guess I should probably do some stretching exercises myself before I reach the stage where I groan when I am not even going to bend over!
Today's video share is a much needed pick me up of laughter from a couple who are trying to be dead serious.
Click here to watch.
~ Pastor Tim
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
I'm so jealous of people who know how to shut up ... I shut up and subtitles come out my face.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
They call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken.
Being a parent is like jumping out of a plane with a bunch of people who can't open their own chutes.
So you fly around doing it for them.
Then you hit the ground. But you don't die.
You haul yourself up off the ground and cook dinner.
- Unknown
A little boy is telling his Grandma how "everything" is going wrong: School, family problems, health problems, etc. Meanwhile, Grandma is baking a cake.
She asks her grandson if he would like a snack, which of course he does.
"Here, have some cooking oil."
"Yuck" says the boy.
"How about a couple raw eggs? "
"Gross, Grandma!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
"Grandma, those are all yucky!"
To which Grandma replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!"
She continued, "That's how God works in our lives, too."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
We were facing a very severe hurricane, and everything was being shut down.
The hurricane was to hit us on a Wednesday night.
Because we were in the center of where that hurricane was supposed to come, we were not allowed to get out and drive on the streets.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
They call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
