Puns about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
Entertainment
If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream.
Click here to view this edition online!
Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings, everyone.
With yesterday being the Northern Hemisphere's winter solstice (the shortest day for daylight), today will be longer than yesterday by about 20 seconds. You know what that means - it's time to get the sunblock out!
Today's video share is proof that there are never enough strings on a guitar for some people!
Click here to listen.
~ Pastor Tim
Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)
1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
4. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
5. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
6. Farmer Bill Dies In House
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again
9. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
10. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
11. Eye Drops Off Shelf
12. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
13. Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
14. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
15. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
16. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
17. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
18. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
19. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
20. Stolen Painting Found By Tree
21. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
22. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
23. Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
24. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84
25. War Dims Hope For Peace
26. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
27. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
28. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
29. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
30. Deer Kill 17,000
31. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
32. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
33. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
34. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
35. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
36. Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Needy
37. Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire
38. British Union Finds Dwarves In Short Supply
39. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
40. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
41. Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
42. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
43. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
44. Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing
45. Air Head Fired
46. Steals Clock, Faces Time
47. Old School Pillars are Replaced By Alumni
48. Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board
49. Hospitals are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
50. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
51. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
52. Police Discovered Pot Plants Were Really Cannabis
One-Liner #1885
I understand why we need warning labels on products but I think they should start including the back story of why the warning was necessary ... just to spice things up.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Melodic Assault 🎵
This morning I was walking down the street and I was hit by a violin, then a clarinet, and then a French horn!
I think it was an orchestrated attack.
Quote #2320
"When we give each other Christmas gifts in His name, let us remember that He has given us the sun and the moon and the stars, and the earth with its forests and mountains and oceans - and all that lives and move upon them."
- Sigrid Undset
The Day After Christmas
'Twas the day after Christmas and all through the room
Strewn wrappings were crying for use of a broom.
The children were scattered the friends' gifts exploring
Since now most of theirs were broken or boring.
All tummies still stuffed from the fabulous feast;
Leftovers would serve for one month at least.
And mama and papa were the countryside ranging,
Those unwanted gifts returned or exchanging.
Yes Christmas is past with its bustle and noise—
Sales and carols, Santas and toys.
Decorations are packed the yule tree's discarded
The holidays over just as we got started
To celebrate peace and the meaning of giving
To discover real love and the purpose for living.
Dear Jesus please help us to stop and remember
That you came to earth not just for December.
But from birth in a manger to death on a cross
You gave up your glory and counted it loss.
So now as we trust You— God’s only Son—
The real celebration has only begun!
Copyright 2007 Dave Veerman. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Susan Page writes . . . .
It's Christmas Day
- photo by Susan PageI wish I were the star that sparkled
So brightly in the sky that night
To show the Shepherds where to find Him
The babe, Emmanuel, the Lord of Light
Or maybe I would be the manger
That functioned as a cradle bed
I’d be so proud to be the vessel
Where baby Jesus laid His head
Perhaps I’d be an awestruck Shepherd
Who heard the Heavenly Choir sing
I’d sprint so quickly to the stable
To see and worship Christ the King
If not a Shepherd, then a Magi
Who travelled far to find the One
The Promise given to a Nation
Christ Jesus, God’s Beloved Son
Yet I’ve a part within this story
To seek and worship Christ each day
For Jesus came to earth to save us
And that is why it’s Christmas Day
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
4. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
5. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
6. Farmer Bill Dies In House
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again
9. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
10. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
Read more: Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)
This morning I was walking down the street and I was hit by a violin, then a clarinet, and then a French horn!
I think it was an orchestrated attack.
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Are you looking for funny elephant pictures? You've come to the right place!
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1572
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes. Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 1996
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2050
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!