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Entertainment

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4963 - November 28, 2024

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Oh look, TURKEY Thursday - happy Thanksgiving to our USA subscribers.

water slideGrandma Cybersalt and I are as thankful for each of you Cybersaltines as we were when we celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving ("Thanksgiving" as we call it) back in October!

Today's video share is about a pretty amazing water slide. I think it's also what your Thanksgiving food sees after you swallow it!
Click Here to Watch

~ Pastor Tim 



NRA Thanksgiving

pilgrim sketchThanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on its way to church.

Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, "The pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers."

"Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "so why is their dad carrying that rifle?"



One-Liner #1877

A man working out in a squatting position.When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


🌟 Tall Tales: Ladder Rungs Stretching

Looking up a ladder all the way to a clear blue sky.Spaces between ladder rungs have increased because Americans are getting taller.

Manufacturers claim it's due to climb it change.



Quote #2312

A woman sitting relaxed on a wicker chair holding a yellow mug with one hand.“Learning to love and be kind to ourselves is a lifelong journey.”

- Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead



Remembering, Thankfulness, Appreciation

Several ripe, red tomatoes hanging on a tomato plant.The men convalescing at a veterans' hospital during World War II were encouraged to use a nearby golf course.

Not all of the patients were strong enough to complete nine holes, but most of them managed to make it to the fifth fairway, which adjoined a tomato farm. These "off the vine" tomatoes were about the most delicious things the men had ever tasted. Consequently, much grumbling accompanied the installation of fence posts along the farm's property line.

But imagine the vets' delight the next morning when, instead of the fence they expected, they found a saltshaker atop each post.


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

Another (Another) Turkey On The Table

turkey dinnerIt was a Monday morning, and I was busy starting my week by organizing my schedule and organizing some of my projects.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came to my door, looked in, and said, "Are you ready for the week?"

 I don't recall her ever asking me that question, but I looked at her and said, "Well, I'm trying to work through my to-do list for the week."

"You do know what week it is," she said with a friendly smirk.

I was a little confused because I didn't know what she was getting after. As far as I'm concerned, a week is a week.

Read more


Susan Page writes . . . . 

Thank You

autumn leaves in orange and red- photo by Susan Page“Gratitude goes beyond the 'mine' and 'thine' and claims the truth that all of life is a pure gift. In the past, I always thought of gratitude as a spontaneous response to the awareness of gifts received, but now I realize that gratitude can also be lived as a discipline. The discipline of gratitude is the explicit effort to acknowledge that all I am and have is given to me as a gift of love, a gift to be celebrated with joy.” - Henri Nouwen

Do you have memories from childhood of your parents instilling the importance of proper manners? Remember the phrase “What’s the magic word?”

An attitude of thanksgiving is more important than the utterance of the word. If you think about it, Thanksgiving Day is a wonderful holiday and we love it for multiple reasons, but really, Thanksgiving in a day?

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

🌟 Tall Tales: Ladder Rungs Stretching

Looking up a ladder all the way to a clear blue sky.Spaces between ladder rungs have increased because Americans are getting taller.

Manufacturers claim it's due to climb it change.

One-Liner #1877

A man working out in a squatting position.When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

  • One-liners
  • Exercise One-liners

NRA Thanksgiving

pilgrim sketchThanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on its way to church.

Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, "The pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers."

"Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "so why is their dad carrying that rifle?"

  • Church Jokes
  • Family Jokes
  • Thanksgiving Jokes

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4962 - November 24, 2024

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone.

invisible cutsA month tonight will be Christmas Eve, so it's time to kick off the holiday season at Cybersalt World Headquarters. Grandma Cybersalt and I are going to start decorating today and I am looking forward to breaking out all my favorite music for the season. Our Christmas calendar has filled up to the point where we are already saying, "No" to more. It's the only way to avoid getting exhausted and saying at the end of December, "next year we aren't going to get exhausted." We're not going to get exhausted this year!

Today's video share shows the impressive process of making impossibly thin and almost invisible cuts in metal.
Click here to watch.

~ Pastor Tim 



More Bulletin Bloopers

A woman standing with her hands at her middle, bent over laughing hilariously.The youth group has raised almost $500 for drug abuse.

"Correction: The following typo appeared in our last bulletin: 'Lunch will be gin at 12:15.' Please correct to read '12 noon.' "

Any church member over the age of 18 is invited to participate in this lay ministry program. It requires a minimal amount of training and time. The orientation will include six weekly classes of about 200 hours each Tuesday night.

The Seniors group will have a picnic Saturday. Each person is asked to bring a friend, a vegetable, or dessert in a covered dish. Meat and drinks will be furnished.

The last day of Vacation Bible School will include a field trip to the state game farm. We could use some additional volunteers to help preparing the lunch of sandwiches, potato chips, cheese, crack, and cool aid that morning.

Remember the youth department rummage sale for Summer Camp. We have a Gents three-speed bicycle, also two ladies for sale, in good running order.



One-Liner #1876

Woman looking directly at us with fingers covering her mouth, big eyes and a surprised expression.When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Bull-iant Idea

A light brown long-haired bull with horns looking directly at us with head tilted to one side.Bob: My friend opened a petting zoo with just one bull, but nobody went.

Mike: Why?

Bob: He was charging too much.



Quote #2311

A close-up of younger hands on top of older hands on a lap.“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.”

- A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh



The Fool's Prayer

An elderly court jester dressed in red and green with bells and a pleasant smile.The royal feast was done; the King
Sought some new sport to banish care,
And to his jester cried: "Sir Fool,
Kneel now, and make for us a prayer!"

The jester doffed his cap and bells,
And stood the mocking court before;
They could not see the bitter smile
Behind the painted grin he wore.

He bowed his head, and bent his knee
Upon the monarch's silken stool;
His pleading voice arose; "O Lord,
Be merciful to me, a fool!"

"No pity, Lord, could change the heart
From red with wrong to white as wool;
The rod must heal the sin: but, Lord,
Be merciful to me, a fool!

"'Tis not by guilt the onward sweep
Of Truth and right, O Lord, we stay;
'Tis by our follies that so long
We hold earth from heaven away.

"These clumsy feet, still in the mire,
Go crushing blossoms without end;
These hard, well-meaning hands we thrust
Among the heart-strings of a friend.

"The ill-timed truth we might have kept -
Who knows how sharp it pierced and stung?
The word we had not sense to say -
Who knows how grandly it had rung?

"Our faults no tenderness should ask,
The chastening stripes must cleanse them all;
But for our blunders - oh in shame
Before the eyes of heaven we fall.

"Earth bears no balsam for mistakes;
Men crown the knave, and scourge the tool
That did his will; but Thou, O Lord,
Be merciful to me, a fool!"

The room was hushed; in silence rose
The King, and sought his gardens cool,
And walked apart, and murmured low,
"Be merciful to me, a fool!"

- Edward R. Sill


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

Did You See My Key?

keyMy life has been bombarded with questions from the beginning of the day until I fall asleep at night.

For the most part, I don’t prioritize questions. Usually, when people ask me a question, there is something behind that question. If I don’t see what’s behind the question, I could answer it in such a way as to get myself in trouble—and believe me, I’ve been in trouble many times before.

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

  1. One-Liner #1876
  2. Bull-iant Idea
  3. More Bulletin Bloopers
  4. 'Twas the Night Before Christmas - in Legalese

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4649
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4649

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1994

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4649

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2044

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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