Entertainment

They should send "Get Well Soon" cards to people who forgot to pay their water bill.

 In Today's Issue

Cybersalt News

It has been almost 4 weeks since I last mailed out the Cybersalt Digest and Pearlygates newsletters. I've been working on a bunch of web projects for people this month.  There is one in particular I'd really like you to take a moment to consider today.

In my community, 4-year-old girl named Hannah Day is in a pretty major battle with the 2nd cancer of her young life. Like 20,000 people around the world, Hannah needs a stem cell donor.  Could you please help in the search for a matched donor?

The first thing everyone can do is help get the word out by sharing the following link on your social media networks: www.hannahday.ca/hannah-and-the-bear

A second thing many can do is register with a stem cell and bone marrow registry in your country (www.hannahday.ca/internationalhope). Each country has its own requirements (in Canada the age bracket is 17-35), but all are linked internationally so you might end up helping save the life of someone near or far from you.  Registering involves having a kit mailed to you, a simple cheek swab, and then the return mailing of your kit.

If you are not eligible to be a donor, please encourage someone who is to sign up.

People who are waiting for news of a matched donor need our prayers, but don't pray until you find out if you are an eligible donor and, if you are, have signed up.  Remember, faith without works is dead.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

How Cold is it?

An annotated thermometer:

(degrees Fahrenheit, then Celsius)

+50 / +10
* New York tenants turn on the heat
* Thunder Bayites plant gardens

+40 / +4
* Californians shiver uncontrollably
* Canadians sunbathe

+35 / +2
* Italian cars don't start

+32 / 0
* Distilled water freezes

+30 / -1
* You can see your breath
* You plan a vacation in Florida
* Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
* Thunder Bayites eat ice cream

+25 / -4
* Boston water freezes
* Californians weep pitiably
* Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you

+20 / -7
* Cleveland water freezes
* San Franciscans start thinking favourably of LA
* Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts

+15 / -10
* You plan a vacation in Acapulco
* Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
* Thunder Bayites go swimming

+10 / -12
* Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
* Too cold to snow
* You need jumper cables to get the car going

0 / -18
* New York landlords turn on the heat
* Sheboygan brats grilled on the patio, yum!

-5 / -21
* You can hear your breath
* You plan a vacation in Hawaii

-10 / -23
* American cars don't start
* Too cold to skate

-15 / -26
* You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
* Miamians cease to exist
* Canadians lick flagpoles

-20 / -29
* Cat insists on sleeping in your pyjamas with you
* Politicians actually do something about the homeless
* People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens

-25 / -32
* Too cold to kiss
* You need jumper cables to get the driver going
* Japanese cars don't start
* Milwaukee Brewers head for spring training

-30 / -34
* You plan a two-week hot bath
* Pilsener freezes
* Bock beer production begins
* Thunder Bayites shovel snow off roof

-38 / -39
* Mercury freezes
* Too cold to think
* Canadians button top button

-40 / -40
* Californians disappear
* Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
* Thunder Bayites put on sweaters

-50 / -46
* Congressional hot air freezes
* Alaskans close the bathroom window
* Green Bay Packers practice indoors

-60 / -51
* Walruses abandon Aleutians
* Sign on Mount St. Helens: "Closed for the Season"
* Thunder Bayites put gloves away, take out mittens
* Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby

-70 / -57
* Glaciers in Central Park
* Hudson residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
* Green Bay snowmobilers organize trans-lake race to Sault Ste.
Marie

-80 / -62
* Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
* Rhinelander Birkebeiner
* Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby

-90 / -68
* Edge of Antarctica reaches Rio de Janeiro
* Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
* Minnesotans migrate to Wisconsin thinking it MUST be warmer

-100 / -73
* Santa Claus abandons North Pole
* Canadians pull down earflaps

-173 / -114
* Ethyl alcohol freezes
* Only Door County cherries usable in brandy Manhattans

-297 / -183
* Oxygen precipitates out of atmosphere
* Microbial life survives only on dairy products

-445 / -265
*Superconductivity

-452 / -269
*Helium becomes a liquid

-454 / -270
*Hell freezes over

-456 /-271
*Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90

-458 / -272
*Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution

-460 / -273 (Absolute Zero)
*All atomic motion ceases
*Canadians allow as to how it's getting a mite nippy.

One-liner #950

I want to grow my own food but I can’t find any bacon seeds.

Water Bills

They should send "Get Well Soon" cards to people who forgot to pay their water bill.

Quote #1398

The idea that all men are created equal loses everything if you believe that men were not created.

Bedside Manner

The doctor was making her rounds and walked into the semi-private room in the hospital to examine old Mrs. Williams.

After the exam in his best professional voice, she said smoothly, "You are coughing much more easily this morning."

"I should," snapped the patient, "I've been practicing all night."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

The Lord Mayor of London is being shown around a London hospital. Towards the end of the visit, he is shown into a ward with a number people with no obvious signs of injury or disease.

He goes to greet the first patient and the chap replies: "Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain e' the puddin' race!"

The Mayor, being somewhat confused goes to the next patient and greets him. The patient replies: "Some hae meat, and canna eat, and some wad eat that want it."The third starts rattling off: "Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie!"

The Lord Mayor turns to the doctor and asks: "Is this mental ward?"

"No" the doctor replies, "It's the Burns unit."

A wonderful variation of the Gus Kahn and Harry M. Woods song from 1927, "Side By Side."