In Today's Issue
Cybersalt News
There are two new funny picture pages on the Cybersalt Site today. You'll find "Dog Snowman" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-dog-pictures/dog-snowman
And you'll find "Super-sized Wedgie" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/super-sized-wedgie
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Today's CleanLaugh
On Time
The passengers were leaving the plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied passenger paused to congratulate the flight attendant.
"Stewardess," he said happily, "I want to compliment you and the crew and especially the captain for getting here right on time. It's not often that an airline gets to where it's going exactly when they claim it will. I'm going to call your home office and let them know how pleased I am."
"Why, thank you, sir," the flight attendant answered, "but I think you should know--this is yesterday's flight."
Today's One-liner
One-liner #0985
If I could only use one word to describe myself, it would probably be: "not good at following directions."
Today's Clean Pun
Laid Back
I like to be laid back: it's just how I'm inclined.
Today's Quote
Quote #1433
"It is always possible to be grateful for what is received rather than resentful over what is withhold. One or the other becomes a way of life."
- Elisabeth Elliot.
Today's Illustration
Laziness
The young woman sat in her stalled car, waiting for help. Finally two men walked up to her. “I’m out of gas,” she purred. “Could you push me to the gas station?”
The men readily put their muscles to the car and rolled it several blocks. After a while, one looked up, exhausted, to see that they had just passed a filling station.
“How come you didn’t turn in?” he yelled.
“I never go there,” the girl shouted back. “They don’t have full service.”
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
A goober went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the busy owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio.
I sent that "Ancestry" site some information on my family tree and they sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over.
Nice guys don't finish last: they get honourable Mensch-in.
"It is peculiarly incumbent upon you who have strength to set a right example to others. I ask you to remember that you cannot retain your self-respect if you are loose and foul of tongue, that a man who is to lead a clean and honorable life must inevitably suffer if his speech likewise is not clean and honorable. Every man here knows the temptations that beset all of us in this world. At times any man will slip. I do not expect perfection, but I do expect genuine and sincere effort toward being decent and cleanly in thought, in word, and in deed. As I said at the outset, I hail the work of this society as typifying one of those forces which tend to the betterment and uplifting of our social system. Our whole effort should be toward securing a combination of the strong qualities with those qualities which we term virtues. I expect you to be strong. I would not respect you if you were not. I do not want to see Christianity professed only by weaklings; I want to see it a moving spirit among men of strength. I do not expect you to lose one particle of your strength or courage by being decent.
Jane had a system for labelling home-made freezer meals.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 