On March 9, 2016, a solar eclipse was witnessed starting at sunrise over Sumatra and ending at sunset north of Hawaii. This is time lapse photography of that event as seen from Satellite Himawari-8.
When I first started putting One-liners on the Cybersalt Site, some people thought I was being pretty ambitious by numbering the first one "0001" so that they would continue to sort alphabetically (yes I realize that is a number) when I got to number "1000." Back then a lot of people said I was a slacker, lacked the ability to see things through to the end and generally would never amount to anything. Well you were wrong mom! That's right, today's Cybersalt Digest includes One-liner #1000!
But since my counselor is always encouraging me to let go of the past, let's talk about last week's total solar eclipse. I missed it because I was asleep on the other side of the world, however, Satellite Himawari-8 was wide awake and captured the whole thing from space. The pictures it took are in a time lapse video in the newest FunBlog entry on the Cybersalt Site at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/solar-eclipse-seen-from-satellite
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober
Mr. & Mrs. Goober have been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Mr. Goober comes home from work and says that he has invited four of his friends from the office home for dinner on Friday night.
Mrs. Goober, is a bit apprehensive and asks if she must cook a meal for the four. The husband explains that there will be eight coming because each will bring his wife.
Since this is their first party, the husband consoles her by saying that all she has to do is get some Chinese food in and perhaps she can bake a cake. This sounds like a good idea, and they sit down and decide what Chinese food to get.
Friday morning Mrs. Goober calls the office in tears. She explains that the only cake recipe she has will only feed six.
Hubby says, "Why don't you just double the recipe?" She decides that is a good idea.
At four, hubby gets another phone call -- this time quite frantic.
"I just can't do it," wifey weeps. "It's impossible."
"Now, now, what's the matter?"
"Well, their recipe calls for two eggs..."
"So, you use FOUR eggs. Don't you have them?"
"Yes -- then it needs 4 cups of flour."
"Well," Mr. Goober says rather testily, "you will have to use 8 cups of flour --what is the problem?"
"It isn't the ingredients," Mrs. Goober sobs, "it says that the cake must be baked at 350 degrees and I have checked the oven, and I can't turn the heat up to
700 degrees!"
"Please pray for my wife; she married an idiot."
@unappreciatedpastor
What's so good about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag's a big plus.
"We are told to let our light shine, and if it does, we won't need to tell anybody it does. Lighthouses don't fire cannons to call attention to their shining - they just shine." ~ D. L. Moody
"Mummy, my turtle's dead," the little boy, Andrew, sorrowfully told his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.
The mother kissed him on the head, then said, "That's all right. We'll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for an ice cream soda, and then get you a new pet."
"Ice cream?" the little boy said, wiping his tears and smiling. "Oh boy!"
His mother said: "I don't want you..."
Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move. "Andrew, you're turtle isn't dead after all!"
"Oh," the disappointed boy said. "Can I kill it?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Sunday greetings everyone.
If you are reading this after about 10:00am in a part of the world where they turn the clocks forward an hour in the spring and you haven't done so yet, then you are probably late for church.
Speaking of time, there is a new Dr. James Snyder devotional on the Cybersalt site today. James would like to roll the clock forward on the current political cycle. You can read more in "Will the Fat Lady PLEASE Sing!" at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/will-the-fat-lady-please-sing
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
A salesman telephoned a household and a young boy answered.
"May I speak to your mother?" the salesman asked.
The boy replied, "She's not here right now."
The salesman then asked, "Is there anyone else there?"
The boy replied, "My sister."
The salesman asked, "May I speak to her"?
The boy replied, "I guess so."
At this point there was a long period of silence on the phone.
Then the boy returned and said, "Hello?"
The salesman responded, "It's you again? I thought you were going to get your sister."
To which the boy replied, "I tried, but I can't get her out of the playpen!"
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
A salesman telephoned a household and a young boy answered.
"May I speak to your mother?" the salesman asked.
The boy replied, "She's not here right now."
The salesman then asked, "Is there anyone else there?"
The boy replied, "My sister."
The salesman asked, "May I speak to her"?
The boy replied, "I guess so."
At this point there was a long period of silence on the phone.
What's so good about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag's a big plus.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
