Cybersalt News
There is a new Funny Car Pictures on the Cybersalt Site today. You will find "Warm the Truck Up" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-car-pictures/warm-the-truck-up
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Today's CleanLaugh
Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies
- It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
- No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
- Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If they're villains, they will probably speak with an English accent.
- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
- An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1018
My exercise program consists of having a lot of stairs in my home and forgetting things.
Today's Clean Pun
Math Reason
Know why I went off on a tangent? Cos.
Today's Quote
Quote #1466
We will never be the person we wish to be, but that’s no excuse to be a jerk. We will never be the person we wish to be, but we can die trying.
– Leonard Sweet
Today's Illustration
Fibs, Truth, Honor
Common, Everyday Fibs
* The check is in the mail.
* I'll start my diet tomorrow.
* We service what we sell.
* Give me your number and the doctor will call you right back.
* Money cheerfully refunded.
* One size fits all.
* Your luggage isn't lost, it's only misplaced.
* This hurts me more than it hurts you.
* I just need five minutes of your time.
* Your table will be ready in a few minutes.
* Let's have lunch sometime.
* It's not the money, it's the principle.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could expect from jump school.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 