Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Mrs. Cybersalt and I are back from our time away focussing on the tasks and goals that kept us very busy from June 1 to July 6. During those 36 days, we travelled approximately 13,400km or 8350 miles by land, air, sea and even rail!
A large chunk of that travel was from Victoria to Banff and back for our denomination's national conference. The drive was wonderful and the conference was great - I think many of you would enjoy watching/listening to our main speaker (especially session #2) at:
www.agcofcanada.com/events/national-conference-2016
With the return to our regular Cybersalt schedule, I am happy to let you know there is a new funny cat page on the Cybersalt site. You'll find "Cat Cookie Thief" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-cookie-thief
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Politically Correct Cat Terms
Politically correct terms for cat owners:
- My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug re-decorator.
- My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job.
- My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools.
- My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity.
- My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.
- My cat is not a "shedding machine," she is a hair relocation stylist.
- My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile," she enjoys the proximity of food.
- My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to do next.
- My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative.
- My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control expert.
- My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced.
- My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced.
- My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate moisture.
- My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next destination
(which should always be the food dish).
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1072
I'm ready to be a parent because I just told the oil change guy "no" 15 times in 30 seconds.
Today's Clean Pun
Summer Reading
Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome; it started off badly but by the end I really liked it.
Today's Quote
Quote #1520
"People ask me, 'Why pray if God is sovereign?' I respond, 'Why pray if He isn't?'"
- Michael Horton
Today's Illustration
The Intolerable Compliment
“We are, not metaphorically but in very truth, a Divine work of art, something that God is making, and therefore something with which He will not be satisfied until it has a certain character.
Here again, we come up against what I have called the 'intolerable compliment.'
Over a sketch made idly to amuse a child, an artist may not take much trouble: he may be content to let it go even though it is not exactly as he meant it to be.
But over the great picture of his life - the work which he loves, though in a different fashion, as intensely as a man loves a woman or a mother a child - he will take endless trouble - and would doubtless, thereby give endless trouble to the picture if it were sentient.
One can imagine a sentient picture, after being rubbed and scraped and re-commenced for the tenth time, wishing that it were only a thumb-nail sketch whose making was over in a minute.
In the same way, it is natural for us to wish that God had designed for us a less glorious and less arduous destiny; but then we are wishing not for more love but for less.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
A young man is an avid listener to the city's police frequency, and he leaves the scanner on all the time.
To prepare for my daughter's First Communion, I called the church in the town where we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate. We lived there for only a short while, so I didn't know the priest there well.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 