A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Sunday greetings everyone - and since this is the last mailing going out before US Thanksgiving - Happy Thanksgiving to our American subscribers.
With US Thanksgiving coming up, today's news is supersized for your holiday enjoyment.
First of all, it's a good thing Rev. James Snyder likes Turkey because his wife is cooking three of them! You can read "Thanksgiving Quandry: Roast Turkey or Lame Duck" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/thanksgiving-quandry-roast-turkey-or-lame-duck
If you are looking for a bit of change from your traditional Thanksgiving turkey, why not try a "Turkraken?" As for me and my house, I'll pass and I bet you care to join me once see "Turkey Stuffing" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/turkey-stuffing
And of course whatever you eat you will probably need to slice it up. Why not use a waterjet like in the video "Cutting a Turkey with a Waterjet" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/cutting-a-turkey-with-a-waterjet
Finally, did you know that even though Canadian Thanksgiving takes place in early October, Thanksgiving sermons from then are still fresh and applicable at the end of November? You'll find audio recordings of 11 sermons on Thanksgiving and being thankful at:
www.westsidefamily.org/thanksgiving-messages
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
He was a good man but a bit stingy. He would bargain and haggle on a price, never paying the price asked. He especially hated paying his medical fees.
One day, while eating fish, a bone became lodged in his throat and within minutes he could scarcely breathe. His wife frantically rushed him to the family doctor's office which was just around the corner. Just as the patient's face was turning blue, the physician quickly removed the bone with a pair of forceps.
After he was breathing normally again, although overwhelmed with gratitude to the doctor for saving his life, he began to worry about the medical fees.
Trying his best to keep his costs down, he turned to the good doctor and asked, "How much do I owe you for this small two-minute job?"
The doctor, who knew his patient's miserly habit all too well, replied, "Just pay me half of what you would have when the bone was still stuck in your throat!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Here's a very unique way to carve your Thanksgiving or Christmas turkey!
You might be a nurse if...
~ You avoid unhealthy looking people in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
~ It doesn't bother you to eat a candy bar with one hand while performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other hand.
~ You've had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots."
~ You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
~ You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage.
~ You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.
~ You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.
~ You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.
~ You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
