There were two old guys, Abe and Ken, taking a walk and talking about baseball, just like they did every day.
Abe turns to Ken and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Ken thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno, Abe. But let's make a deal: If I die first, I will come back and tell you -- and if you die first, you come back and tell me -- if there is baseball in heaven."
Sunday greetings everyone.
The news is that I am babysitting right now; babysitting one of my servers! I have three servers that I host client websites on, but right now one of them is having "a moment." The server company is looking into the issue and I am watching for when all things are up and running again. And then, as in babysitting, I get to email my clients and explain everything that happened while there were gone!
Today's video share features something I have been called in the past: a yoyo. Well, if I am a yoyo like the yoyo in this video, I will gladly accept that!
Click Here to Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time you will be unbearable."
Leipzig elevator - "Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up."
Belgrade elevator - "To move the cabin, push forward for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number for a wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."
Paris elevator - "Please leave your values at the front desk."
Athenian hotel - "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of....."
Moscow Hotel - "You are invited to visit the cemetery where famous Soviet composers, authors and artists are buried daily except Thursday."
Austrian ski hotel - "Do not perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."
Swiss menu - "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
Polish menu - "Salad of firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."
Hong Kong dress shop - "Ladies have fits upstairs."
Rhodes tailor shop - "Order your summer suit because it is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
Germany's Black Forest - "It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married together for that reason."
Swedish furrier - "Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin."
Japanese detour sign - "Stop: Drive sideways."
Swiss mountain inn - "Special today - no ice cream."
Copenhagen airline office - "We take your bags and send them in all directions."
Budapest zoo - "Please do not feed the animals. If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
Acapulco hotel - "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."
Japanese air conditioner - "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."
Tokyo car rental firm - "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour."
Norwegian cocktail bar - "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar"
Told my kids I couldn't find the hot cocoa powder to which my four year old said, "Maybe someone took it and hid it behind my bed" which is a suspiciously specific theory.
I cut myself shredding cheese. I wanted to blame someone else, but then I remembered ... with grate power comes grate responsibility.
There are children in the world holding onto the hope that someone will stand up and speak for them.
- unknown
Ernest Shackleton's recruiting advertisement for his 1912 Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition:
"Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honor and recognition in case of success."
If Shackleton were advertising in the 2000's:
"Members wanted for adventure trek. Low cost, cool sights, lots fun nights, thrills galore, insurance available. Get your picture in Outdoor magazine."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
After many years of denial, I finally realized how easily I am confused. Why it took me so long to realize this, I will never know.
If only I could go back to my wonderful teenage years when I knew everything and nobody could tell me what to do. Why do those days go by so quickly?
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time you will be unbearable."
Leipzig elevator - "Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up."
Belgrade elevator - "To move the cabin, push forward for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number for a wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."
Told my kids I couldn't find the hot cocoa powder to which my four year old said, "Maybe someone took it and hid it behind my bed" which is a suspiciously specific theory.
I cut myself shredding cheese. I wanted to blame someone else, but then I remembered ... with grate power comes grate responsibility.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
