An goober goes for a job interview in an office.
The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"
The goober counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying....... "Ehhhh... 22."
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"
One day you will want to send me money but you will find me rich and I won't accept it - so use this opportunity now.
Isn't the Grand Canyon just gorges!?
Sunday greetings everyone.
Yesterday, we attended a birthday party for our youngest granddaughter. As her cake was being carried out by her older sister (complete with 2 lit candles on top) the top layer of the cake slid off onto her chest and then onto the ground of the campsite we were at. Needless to say, our singing of, "Happy Birthday" was interrupted as the candles were retrieved, reinserted, and relit in the bottom half of the cake that survived. It was a fun family moment without a tear shed. (I have video of the whole thing which I will share at a later date.)
Today, were are attending a birthday party for another granddaughter: I will keep you posted!
Today's video share is a look at something that recently happened on the Spotify UK Music Charts. A musical group that is completely AI generated (so not real) really made it to the top of the chart because real people were really listening to them/it - for real!
Click Here to Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Canterbury, England. AD 999.
An atmosphere close to panic prevails today throughout Europe as the millennial year 1000 approaches, bringing with it the so-called "Y1K Bug," a menace which, until recently, hardly anyone had ever heard of.
Prophets of doom are warning that the entire fabric of Western Civilization, based as it now is upon monastic computations, could collapse, and that there is simply not enough time left to fix the problem.
Just how did this disaster-in-the-making ever arise? Why did no one anticipate that a change from a three-digit to a four-digit year would throw into total disarray all liturgical chants and all metrical verse in which any date is mentioned?
Every formulaic hymn, prayer, ceremony and incantation dealing with dated events will have to be re-written to accommodate three extra syllables. All tabular chronologies with three-space year columns, maintained for generations by scribes using carefully hand-ruled lines on vellum sheets, will now have to be converted to four-space columns, at enormous cost. In the meantime, the validity of every official event, from baptisms to burials, from confirmations to coronations, may be called into question.
"We should have seen it coming," says Brother Cedric of St. Michael's Abbey, here in Canterbury. "What worries me most is that 'THOUSAND' contains the word 'THOU,' which occurs in nearly all our prayers, and of course, always refers to God. Using it now in the name of the year will seem almost blasphemous, and is bound to cause terrible confusion. Of course, we would always use Latin, but that might be even worse - the Latin word for 'THOUSAND' is 'mille'-which is the same as the Latin for 'mile.' We will not know whether we are talking about time or distance"
Stonemasons are already reported threatening to demand a proportional pay increase for having to carve an extra numeral in all dates on tombstones, cornerstones and monuments. Together with its inevitable ripple effects, this alone could plunge the hitherto stable medieval economy into chaos.
A conference of clerics has been called at Winchester to discuss the entire issue, but doomsayers are convinced that the matter is now one of personal survival. Many families, in expectation of the worst, are stocking up on holy water and indulgences.
Some of my friends exercise every day, meanwhile ... I'm watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.
In England it's called a lift, but in America it's called an elevator.
I guess people are just raised differently.
How to have a beach body:
- Unknown
An elderly man took his young grandson for a walk around the local cemetery. Pausing before one gravestone he said, "There lies a very honest man. He died owing me 50 dollars, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts, and if anyone has gone to heaven, he has."
They walked on a bit further and then came to another grave. The old man pointed to the gravestone and said, "Now there's a different type of man altogether. He owed me 60 dollars and he died without ever trying to pay me back. If anyone has gone to hell, he has."
The young boy thought for a while and then said, "You know, Grandpa, you are very lucky."
"Why?" asked the old man in surprise.
"Well, whichever place you go to, you'll have some money to draw on."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
I must admit that I procrastinate a lot. The biggest example is when I get up in the morning. I wait until the very last minute to get up. My goal is to get up before lunch.
This is the primary difference between me and The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. She couldn't procrastinate even if I gave her a thousand dollars. Of course, I would procrastinate in giving over that thousand dollars because that's how I operate.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
In England it's called a lift, but in America it's called an elevator.
I guess people are just raised differently.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
