Mother's Dictionary
Amnesia:
A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.
Bottle Feeding:
An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am too.
Defense:
What you'd better have aroun de yard if you're going to let de children play outside.
Drooling:
How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter:
One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family Planning:
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
Feedback:
The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name:
What you call your child when you're mad at him.