Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

While preparing last Sunday's mailing, there was once again an error between my keyboard and my seat. The result was that last Thursday's news was repeated and Sunday's Cybersalt News did not appear.

Because of that you didn't know that there was a new James Snyder devotional on the Cybersalt site. James got a black eye, which gave rise to this 5th devotional with the word "quandary" in the title, lol.  You can still read "Black Eye Causes Quandary of the First Order" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/black-eye-causes-quandary-of-the-first-order

Tax day in the USA is now past. Tax day in Canada is only days away. Whether you are late or almost on time, these two "Simple Tax Forms" may simplify your filing.

Simplified US Tax Form
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/simplified-us-tax-forms

Simplified Canadian Tax Form
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/simplified-canadian-tax-form

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Today's CleanLaugh

The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

10. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave."

9. Do a halftime trampoline show.

8. With your buddies, spell out your child's name on your chests.

7. Mimic the conductor.

6. Start a paper airplane contest with the program.

5. Clip your toenails.

4. Wear a multi-colored wig and hold up a large, confusing sign.

3. In the middle of the violin piece, say loudly to the person next to you,
"That reminds me...I need to take our cat to the vet."

2. Wear your wife's old cheerleading outfit.

1. Two words: cow bell.

One-liner #1185

I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

Spanish King

A Spanish King was being attacked constantly by warlords. He called his advisors together and asked them to come up with a solution.

One said, "Remember the Greeks and the Trojan Horse?"

"Let's find out what the warlords like and we'll do the same trick."

"We know they won't eat pork, so a pig is not the answer. Chickens! They love chickens and eggs."

The Spanish King asked his carpenters to build a giant chicken, but they said it was too complicated, so they decided to build a giant wooden egg. They filled the egg with Basque mercenaries and rolled it in front of the warlord encampment.

"Oh mighty Chief, we have brought you a gift."

The warlords pulled the wooden egg inside their encampment. Soon there was great activity in the warlords camp -- they were feverishly building a giant pot. When they finished, they filled it with water and hauled the giant egg up into the water filled pot, and lit a fire under it. They were going to make a giant hard boiled egg breakfast for the troops! Soon smoke rose from the center of the camp.

The Basques realized they were cooking the egg!

The moral of the story: Don't put all your Basques in one egg!

Quote #1632

Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet too. Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breathe.

- Unknown

Cybersalt is a supporter of PEM.
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Today's Illustration

Identification

A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you will want some identification."

He replied, without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary."

"How come?" asked the woman.

"Crooks don't usually buy peat moss," answered the clerk.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

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The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.