Two men are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper.
The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window and "WHACK," the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.
The driver says, "What was that for?"
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was always behind the wheel operating the boat. As time went along, he became concerned about what might happen in an emergency.
So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Honey, take the wheel... Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it."
Issue #4496
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Some regular features are missing in today's mailing. Grandma Cybersalt, who lines up the material for each mailing, is away at a conference and I am home alone preoccupied with trying to keep myself alive until she comes back! #largepizzainthefridge
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was always behind the wheel operating the boat. As time went along, he became concerned about what might happen in an emergency.
So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Honey, take the wheel... Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it."
So she drove the boat to shore and safely docked it.
Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching a show. She sat down next to him, switched off the TV, and said,
"Honey, go into the kitchen. Pretend I've had a heart attack and you have to take care of yourself for a few days. Set the table, cook dinner and wash the dishes."
Self-Annihilating Sentences: The Way of the WorldIf you knew what was going on, you'd be very confused.
Today's Illustration
My mother began getting calls from people who misdialed the similar number of a new computer repair business.
Mom, who had had her number for years, asked the owner of the company to have the number changed.
He refused. The calls kept coming day and night.
Finally, Mom began telling the people who called that the company had gone out of business. Within a week, the computer repair company voluntarily changed its number.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Self-Annihilating Sentences: The Way of the WorldIf you knew what was going on, you'd be very confused.
Sunday Greetings everyone.
Woohoo! Not only are things back to normal with mail delivery, newsletters are going out faster than ever with the new server!
Rev. James Snyder's cell phone gave him a week of frustration and interruption that stood out amongst all the weeks he has lived. You can read "It Was One of Those Weeks" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/it-was-one-of-those-weeks
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Three men worked in the Empire State Building on the 102nd floor.
One day the elevator was out of service, so they had to walk up to their office. To pass the time, they decided that one would sing a song, one would tell a joke, and the third would tell a sad story - each taking a turn every floor until they reached the top.
Finally, as they reached the 100th floor, one man sang his last song. As they reached the 101st floor, the second guy told his last joke. As they ascended the flight to the 102nd floor, the third man said, "I forgot the key."
Self-Annihilating Sentences: The Way of the WorldLike everybody else, I'm different.
Advice from the Ocean:
"There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience."
- French Proverb
When my nephew Arthur was little, the local pastor dropped by my sister's house for a visit. My brother-in-law, an avid fisherman, was preparing for a weekend at the lake when suddenly little Arthur bellowed, "My daddy's got worms!''
"Oh," replied the preacher,"You mean he's got fishing worms?"
With a straight face my nephew said: "No, he's got worms."
While he had a perplexed look on his face, only divine wisdom that comes from years of ministry kept the pastor from asking any further questions.
(Mike Burleson)
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
