A woman walking down a residential street, noticed a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. She called out to him as she passed.
"Hello there! I couldn't help but notice how happy you look. What's your secret for a long happy life?"
A former friend of mine was married to a great gal; unfortunately, he had to put up with his wife's mother who was a very cranky and spiteful person.
In the morning when my buddy got up to go to work, his mother-in-law would sneak around a hallway corner and hiss at him, "If you don't treat my daughter right when I die I'll dig up from the grave and haunt you!"
Issue #4498
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Grandma Cybersalt is returning home later today. It turns out her flight lands 4 hours sooner than we thought. I'm glad she will be home earlier, but I do wish I had made 4 hours less of a mess while she was gone!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
A woman walking down a residential street, noticed a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. She called out to him as she passed.
"Hello there! I couldn't help but notice how happy you look. What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he replied. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat nothing but fast food, and never exercise."
"Wow!" The woman was amazed. "How old are you?" she asked.
"Twenty-six," he replied.
Self-Annihilating Sentences: The Way of the WorldIn absolute monarchy, any leader can be a fool, but in absolute democracy, any fool can be a leader.
Today's Illustration
Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World.
The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said.
"I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Self-Annihilating Sentences: The Way of the WorldIn absolute monarchy, any leader can be a fool, but in absolute democracy, any fool can be a leader.
Issue #4497
Sunday Greetings everyone.
Grandma Cybersalt continues to be away on a visit which includes one of our grandkids. This means she got distracted from putting together the full digest for today and so parts are missing. It's not that you are not important to her, it's just that you are not *that* important to her. And now you know you know how I feel whenever *any* of the grandkids come to our house, lol!
Speaking of the trials of being a husband, Rev. James Snyder recently and suddenly found himself in the husband danger zone because of mac and cheese. You can read "Thinking Has a Way of Getting Me into Trouble" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/thinking-has-a-way-of-getting-me-into-trouble
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
We live in a small town where we have a volunteer Ambulance Corp. We are blessed with many dedicated and fully qualified attendants, who staff our ambulances and give freely of themselves. I was chatting with one of the EMS responders one day and she could hardly stifle a chuckle, so I asked her what was so funny and she told me this story...
It seems that she had gone to an automobile accident and was checking a patient who was lying on the road for injuries. As she knelt beside him and probed him, she asked, "Does this hurt or does that hurt?" After each probe, he replied, "No." When she had nearly completed her examination, she shifted to a better spot from which to finish the examination when after one of her probing questions, he exclaimed very loudly, "Ah!! That hurts!"
When she asked where, he looked up at her with a look of real pain on his face and said, "You're kneeling on my fingers!"
Self-Annihilating Sentences: The Way of the WorldIt's frightening to think of how many things were completely useless until they were discovered!
Today's Illustration
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.
"Look Miss," said the foreman, "do you have any experience in picking lemons?"
"Well... as a matter of fact, Yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
